A/N: I don't know how I came up with this. But I find myself a genus and hilarious. But enjoy, also some spoilers for the next chapter of Neighbors. Heheh.
Mihawk x Shanks
Feat. Zosan
Mihawk and Shanks sat in the living room watching TV. They were waiting for the newly engaged couple to come and visit. Mihawk approved of his son's fiancé and asked them to come over for dinner. To meet the rest of the family. Sanji was more then happy to agree while Zoro sighed being dragged into it anyway. The door was barged in earning Mihawk and Shanks attention. Perona Mihawk's daughter stepped in.
"I love what you've done with the place." She smiled.
Shanks smiled as they both got up to greet her. She kissed both of there cheeks handing them small gifts.
"Just a little something I picked up in Paris for one of our meetings with my designer." She said walking in.
Shanks smiled to his little sword and waved it around before prodding Mihawk with it. Mihawk glared at him having Shanks chuckle. Mihawk had a sword as well but his was a different design and a bit bigger then Shanks. He tired to get Mihawk to play with him but he snatched Shanks sword away and put them up on the mantle.
"Fun sucker." Shanks pouted.
"After twenty years of being married to me you just realized this?"
Shanks stuck his tongue out at him before turning away. Mihawk sighed approaching Shanks and kissed his cheek before sitting on the couch. The red haired man lit up before sitting closer to his husband. The door was knocked on before Zoro opened the door. Sanji pulled on Zoro's ear.
"Don't go barging in." Sanji scolded.
Zoro pursed his lips, "I used to live here, I can barge in if I wanna."
"Roronoa."
Zoro turned to his father's sitting on the couch.
"It's good to see your doing well." Mihawk said.
"Yeah, love you too pops." Zoro said.
Shanks and him got up to meet Zoro's husband to be. Sanji clutched Zoro's hand, biting the inside of his lip. Shanks grinned as Sanji held out his shaken hand.
"I-Its nice to meet you si-sir." Sanji said.
Shanks chuckled and embraced him. Sanji stiffened turning to Zoro.
"That's Shanks. My step dad." Zoro said.
Shanks pulled back and got a good look at him.
"Wow, I haven't seen such blue eyes in a long time." Shanks grinned.
"Th-thank you S-sir."
Shanks wrapped an arm around his shoulders, "What's this whole sir thing, just call me Shanks, or dad if you like."
Shanks caught a whiff of what Zoro was holding. He poked his head over Zoro's shoulder.
"Did you guys cook?" Shanks asked.
"Sanji did, I told him not to."
"It's alright, we can never turn down food." Shanks grinned.
He took the container and took it into the kitchen.
"Hey Pops, mind if we stay the night? Have a little vacation here?" Zoro asked.
"Fine by me."
Zoro turned to Sanji and kissed his cheek, "Go meet everyone. They won't bite. I'm going to go get the bags."
Sanji nodded as Zoro left, once he turned back Mihawk stood before him. Sanji staggered back, and sighed.
"Your quite, jumpy. Come."
Mihawk and Sanji sat on the couch, he looked around the living room.
"Will your family be joining us?" Mihawk asked.
Sanji turned to him, "My dad might come, and my brother. Can't contain himself."
"Are you the oldest?"
"By eight minutes."
"So your twins."
Sanji nodded, "Besides his one brown eye."
"Interesting, and how does he feel about the wedding?"
Sanji sighed, "He's practically planning it."
Zoro walked in holding two backpacks.
"Yonji is here." Zoro said.
Behind him was Sanji's younger brother, he smiled as Sanji stood up. Yonji practically tackled Sanji into a hug.
"Yonji, this is Mihawk. Zoro's father." Sanji said.
Yonji turned to the black haired man, he smiled and held out his hand.
"It's nice to finally meet you." Yonji said.
Mihawk shook his hand, "Likewise."
"Well my brother and I will go start dinner, I heard Luffy is coming so, we need to prepare." Yonji said.
"Shanks son won't be attending, Roger's son had fallen ill and is staying to take care of him."
Sanji and Yonji blinked, "Luffy not coming to eat?"
They both bursted into tears, "We'll finally be able to have a normal meal!"
Zoro snuck up behind them holding paper and tape. Taping Sanji's name onto Sanji's back and Yonji's on Yonji's back. Because to this day. Zoro cannot tell the difference between brothers. The two headed to the kitchen to cook while Zoro and his father sat watching tv. Once dinner was finished Sanji and Yonji called everyone in to eat. Also pranked Zoro by switching clothes. The twins glanced to each there before to Zoro. He squinted to them holding his plate. Zoro sat next to Yonji not noticing the clear difference between the twins. Facial hair. Yonji didn't have any.
"Roronoa, your fiancé is on the other side."
Zoro slammed his hands on the table, "I hate it when you two do that."
They laughed as Zoro switched spots.
"This is really good thank you." Shanks said.
"I wanted to ask," Sanji asked, "How did you two meet?"
The table went quiet as Zoro placed his hand on Sanji's thigh. Mihawk and Shanks didn't look up from there meal.
"You promised, you would tell us." Zoro said.
Shanks sighed, "Alright. Well, about twenty years ago..."
Shanks stood outside a famous bar with Benn and Yassop. Shanks had turned twenty one that day.
"Happy birthday." Benn said and placed a straw hat on his head.
Shanks grinned as they headed inside. The bar was stocked with beer, vodka, Sake, and all different types of alcohol from all over the world. Shanks grinned as they headed to the bar to the bar keeper. Shanks sat next to a man looking just a bit older then him. He was clean shaven and only his sideburns came to a point. He glanced to Shanks as he smiled to his golden eyes. He rolled his eyes and went back to his glass of wine.
"Hey bar keep, today is my buddies birthday. What does he get?"
She smiled, "I have a special birthday treat then."
The golden eyed man perked up and turned to the red head.
"Today is your birthday?" He asked.
Shanks nodded, "I'm twenty one."
The man chuckled, "I'm twenty three today."
"Your birthday is today too?"
He nodded as Shanks turned to the lady.
"Excuse me miss, can I get another one for my friend. Today is his birthday too!"
She nodded as he turned back to the man.
"My name is Shanks, what's yours?"
"Mihawk."
"Nice name."
Two tall drinks sat before the two men. Shanks smiled to the many colors of alcohol and gummy candies inside. Mihawk sighed as Shanks picked up the glass and held it up to Mihawk.
"Happy birthday to us." Shanks smiled.
Mihawk smirked picking up his glass as they clinked glasses and drank down some of the beverage. Only to black out ten minutes later. Mihawk groaned tossing over resting his head on something warm. He tried to toss his arm over it. But his arm was bound and clanked when he tugged more. He turned to his arm handcuffed to the bedpost. Mihawk pursed his lips and turned to Shanks lying next to him. He scrambled out of the bed and fell with a loud thump. He groaned as he felt sore, Mihawk pressed his hand to his head trying to remember anything that happened last night. But. Nothing. He noticed a cheap plastic ring on his left hand. And was buck ass naked.
"Your kidding." Mihawk groaned.
He climbed back up onto the bed putting a blanket around himself. He noticed Shanks had a bandage on his right eye. Mihawk stiffened as Shanks stirred in his sleep to scratch his chest. Where another plastic ring was worn on his hand. Mihawk raised the blanket a bit seeing if Shanks was naked. Which. He was. Mihawk sighed and lowered the blanket and looked around for a key. Which he found, on the nightstand beside Shanks. Mihawk reached over for it inching closer and closer hoping not to wake his. Friend? Shanks eyes snapped open as Mihawk pulled his arm back. Shanks sat up and turned to Mihawk. He reached up and touched the bandage on his eye.
"Wh-why does my eye hurt? What happened? What's going on?!"
"I was going to ask you the same thing." Mihawk said.
Shanks was about to remove the bandage when Mihawk stopped him putting his hand over Shanks.
"Leave it alone, it needs to heal."
Shanks nodded, "I can't remember anything. Everything is all fuzzy or dark."
He noticed the ring, on Mihawks hand then the ring on his own.
"Mind helping me out of these cuffs?" Mihawk asked.
Shanks turned to his hand cuffed to the bedpost. He looked around finding the key on his nightstand. He reached over unlocking his cuffs. Mihawk rubbed his wrist as they turned to a beeping on Shanks phone. He picked up his phone and noticed a message popped up.
'Storage full.'
Mihawk perked up over his shoulder as Shanks furrowed.
"I just put a new memory card into this thing."
"Maybe you have some pictures on there or something about last night."
Shanks went through his phone finding pictures of the both of them. One stood out in the bunch. A wedding license both of there names scribbled down onto the page. Shanks turned to Mihawk.
"Sorry, we can file for divorce if you want. And we can never talk about this again." Shanks said.
Mihawk reached over his shoulder and noticed a video. He clicked it as it played. Their eyes widened to the sex video Shanks made last night. Once it was over Mihawk stood putting on his clothes.
"Hey where are you going?"
"I'd rather have my clothes on when we figure what all that happened last night."
Shanks smirked, "Its cause you got horny watching the sex tape."
"Shut up!"
Shanks purred lying on his back watching Mihawk get dressed.
"I like your butt." Shanks said.
"Are you always so blunt?" Mihawk asked.
Shanks chuckled, "Sorry. But I figured since we're married."
"I mean I don't mind it, it's better then living my life alone." Mihawk said.
"Or it's cause you love me."
Mihawk thumped him on the head, before he sat next to him.
"Here let me see your eye." Mihawk said.
Shanks sat up as Mihawk lightly pulled at the tape. He hissed as Mihawk lifted the bandage his golden eyes widened to the three jagged gashes down his eye.
"Well? How does it look?" Shanks asked.
Mihawk sighed, "Ill just tell you this. You'll have a pretty badass scar."
Shanks smirked, "Are scars a turn on to you?"
Mihawk thumped him on the forehead again having Shanks laugh. He covered his eye again and pressed lightly on the tape.
"What's your favorite color?" Shanks asked.
"Red. Why?"
"I want to get to know you better."
"We have many years ahead of us to learn about each other."
Shanks smiled, "Thanks for staying."
"Then, about five years later. We gotten drunk again. And adopted three children." Mihawk explained, "All three pains in my ass."
Sanji smiled, "So you guys never really minded that you got married while you were drunk?"
"I figured if my drunk self got me into this, I might as well stay." Shanks said.
"And we didn't want to fill out the paperwork." Mihawk scoffed.
Yonji sniffled, "How romantic."
As the next couple of months went by. Shanks and Mihawk sat at the bar. Looking at the tall glass.
"Do we have to do this?" Mihawk asked.
"Come on hun. Let's have a little fun." Shanks nudged him.
Mihawk sighed picking up the glass and they both gulped down the drink.
Mihawk sat up looking around the unfamiliar room. The door opened as Zoro crossed his arms and rested on the doorframe. He smirked.
"Thanks for traumatizing my fiancé last night. I don't know how you ended up in my house. But uh. Next time. Lock the door if you two are gonna try some 'New Things.' In my house."
Mihawk groaned pinching the bridge of his nose.
