Moira looked down, after a few minutes of me & Nick not saying anything. Finally, Nick asked, "When did Dada tell you that?"
Moira's little pout got more pronounced as she looked up, over Nick's head. "Um... while I was sleeping."
"So he came to visit you in your dream?" I asked, stepping forward. Moira nodded her head & I smiled, kneeling on the floor, beside her bed. "That's because Dada wanted to say goodbye to you. He is in Heaven. Remember we told you that Dada was very sick & his body would stop working?" I held Moira's hand & she nodded her head again. "Well, he died, a little while ago & now he's in Heaven. We're going to be very sad for a while, but that's okay. It's okay to be mad that he's not here, too. You can cry because Mommy will be crying a lot." I smiled at her & she looked at Nick.
"Will you cry, Daddy?"
Nick frowned, nodding his head. "I probably will, a little. I loved your dada a lot. He was one of my best friends." Nick held out his arms. "In fact, I could really use a hug & I bet you could use one, too." He said & Moira jumped into Nick's arms, with a giggle. My chest tightened & the lump came back, as I watched my baby girl be comforted by her daddy. It gave me peace of mind, knowing that she was going to be okay. We were both going to be okay, because Nick was here.
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The rest of that day, Nick made the phone calls about Wilmer to family & friends, while I cuddled with Moira. She asked questions & I answered them, honestly, knowing that it was best to tell her the truth. It was a long day & I was glad when it ended. I was never so happy to crawl into bed & go to sleep. I was hoping Wilmer would come to me, as I slept. He didn't & I couldn't help but laugh, thinking it was his way of forcing me to move on.
Since Thanksgiving was that week & Wilmer was being cremated, we decided to have the funeral on the Saturday after the holiday. We didn't celebrate the holiday with family. We stayed at home, with Moira & had turkey & all the trimmings, by ourselves. It was weird, that Wilmer wasn't there, but it also felt like a glimpse of what our lives would be like from now on.
Wilmer's funeral was like any other funeral, I would guess. There were lots of people & they all had amazing things to say about my husband. There were tears & there were smiles, because Wilmer was a guy who would want everyone to smile. After the service, we had everyone back to the house to continue to celebrate Wilmer's life. Moira was there, every step of the way & I was glad. She needed to be a part of this.
After Wilmer died, Moira started having nightmares & it was heartbreaking to hear her screaming & crying, in the middle of the night, but I knew it was normal. Nick went to her every single time & held her until she fell back asleep. Sometimes, I'd go to the room & watch them to make sure she was okay, but she always was. She had her daddy, so I knew she'd always be okay. I hoped God never took Nick from her, because I didn't want to think about how it would affect her, if she lost both her dads.
