Run

Can't catch a break...

Tahari

Riding through downtown New Orleans, Chocolate fe's and redbones by Twista sounded lowly through the speakers of Sina's ride. As he drove along the street, ever so often the streetlights would reflect off of the black paint of the hood of the car. I gazed out of the window as I clasped my hands together. After what happened at Sina's, I couldn't help but feel a bit uneasy. The sudden kiss left me dumbfounded but what really took a toll on me was the anger that erupted once I mentioned the bullet shells. If he got that upset over an assumption, I could only imagine his reaction if he found out that my father is the man who wants to take away his freedom, for life. Even if I muster up the courage to actually tell him, there's a possibility that he would think that it all was a set up, especially for taking the shells from his car. My explanation would mean absolutely nothing because I'm someone new to him. Even his friend didn't get a second chance after giving Sina the run around for his money. I could only imagine what repercussions I'd end up with if he was convinced that I was playing with his life, his well being...

As my mind clouded with a variety of what ifs, there was a question that I wanted an answer to and I wouldn't necessarily get it without asking. After the sudden kiss, nervousness took over my body the rest of my visit with Sina. I couldn't really tell how he possibly felt because his vibe was always the same, plus he became occupied once he finished his blunt. He had received a few calls from people of his clientele and there was no hesitation with their requests. He prepared it all.

I took my attention from the by passing traffic and gazed at Sina, who was leaned back in his seat, just cruising with his left hand on the steering wheel.

"Sina", I said softly.

He turned the radio down enough to hear me clearly. "What's up?", he questioned as he approached a stoplight and gazed at me.

"What made you kiss me?", I queried softly as I kept my gaze on him. "I'm just a little curious, that's all", I stated as I grew nervous of what his response would be.

He clenched his jaw as he put his attention back on the road because the light changed. He drove off. "I kissed you because, I wanted to kiss you. There's nothin else to really say.", he said in response. "It was a reaction to the vibe I was gettin off of you.", he stated.

I pressed my lips together before speaking. "Is there a different route that we can take, a longer way, instead of straight to my home?", I queried.

He took a quick gaze at me. "Plenty but what for?", he queried before continuing. "What, you want to talk?", he questioned.

I nodded. "Yes", I answered.

"Aight", he simply said as he turned off the main street and just cruised. He turned the radio completely off. "So what's on ya mind?", he questioned.

"Well", I started. "What made you choose this lifestyle?", I asked out of curiosity.

He took a quick gaze at me before putting his attention back on the road. "You tryin to get to know a nigga, I see.", he said before continuing. "Well, shit, I wasn't the nigga that was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I was that poor nigga that lived in the projects with my single mama, my brothers and my sister.", he said as he continued driving. "My mama got involved with this nigga that was always cookin up white when she was at work but he fucked up by becomin addicted to his own product. Seein the addiction made me want to get into it and sell but that's it. Shit, I wanted to get my product out there and sell it to these cracked out niggas, shit, as well as the loud, pills, lean, all that. When I got into the game, I realized how even the average lookin mothafucka wanted some white. People were willin to pay half grands and more for that shit, a poor lil nigga's dream, somethin a 9 to 5 couldn't awaken. I wanted this because I wanted to take care of me and my family, ya heard me. I wanted them to want for nothin and I loved the fact that I could make that shit happen but don't get it twisted, this lifestyle can get you killed. I learned that the hard way because a few loved ones were taken away from their families, and mine.", he stated in such a way that he became vulnerable for the moment.