LloydMike977
A memoir by an autistic, queer survivor of childhood abuse, *The Arithmetic of Survival* documents the development and functioning of a Dissociative Identity Disorder system across decades of trauma. The author introduces readers to the internal system-Mike, the exhausted host; Mattie, the emotional heart; Mallory, the rage-containing protector; Vespira, the boundary-keeper; Ben, the crisis operator; and Caleb, the terrified child-each formed to survive what no child should endure.
Written with clinical precision and unflinching honesty, the memoir explores psychiatric hospitalization, suicidal planning, domestic violence, addiction, and the complex gender dynamics of sharing one body with alters of different genders. It documents not just the mechanics of survival but the gradual, difficult work of learning to live-finding language through writing, connection through therapy, and cooperation within a fractured self.
The result is a portrait of resilience that refuses sentimentality, offering instead a sophisticated analysis of how trauma shapes identity and how a divided self can learn to function, and perhaps eventually heal, as one.