Puns.1

⋐Day #8: F o o d/E a t i n g Puns

⋐Day #8: Food/Eating puns: *warning make cause extreme hunger*

◘What did the grape say when it was crushed?

        ◙Nothing, it just let out a little wine

◘Why was the orange sad?

        ◙He had peelings for the apple

◘My friend dropped his box of Italian pastries on the floor.

        ◙I cannoli imagine what he must be going through.

◘Eggs make lousy comedians.

        ◙They always crackup at their own yokes.

◘Did you hear the one about the two peanuts walking down the dark alley? 

        ◙One was A salted.

◘What's the funniest bunch of fruit?

        ◙A pun-net of strawberries!

◘Why did the banana go to the psychiatrist?

        ◙Because it had a split personality.

◘What's the best way to serve a stack of puncakes?

        ◙Syruptitiously.

◘I went to a buffet dinner with my neighbor, who is a taxidermist. 

        ◙After such a big meal, I was stuffed.

◘Why don't you wanna Taco 'bout it?

        ◙ Because I'm Nacho friend anymore!

◘I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

◘I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.

◘The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands.

◘When making butter there is little margarine for error.

◘When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

◘Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

◘I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

◘When making butter there is little margarine for error.

◘You used so much Thyme, Dr. Who arrived in the Tardis to save us all

◘When I opened the first snow-pea pod, one fell out and rolled under the fridge. One might say it was an escapea.

◘My mom ran out of poultry seasoning so she winged it

◘The aluminum foiled my plans. [sorry it's not food]

◘The British cannibal enjoyed snacking on fish and chaps.

◘I'm sorry Vegans, I like Steak more than Salad. Lettuce move on

◘The man brought an umbrella with him into the ice cream store because he heard there was a chance of sprinkles.

◘It's very rare to find a steak this well done by a medium.

◘Even covered in salad dressing my lettuce looked bare, so I put some cloves on it.

◘I met a man who loves eating couches. I think he has a suite tooth.

◘The produce grocer keeps his eyes peeled for potatoes and slips through bunches of bananas every week at the farmers market.

◘The smartest nut mixtures have some macadamia.

◘I had to decide between making salad with my mom or playing catch with my dad, it was a toss-up.

◘Nuts are so expensive these days. Nearly cost you an almond a leg.

◘I was in a big hurry so I scrambled to make eggs for breakfast.

◘Last night I ate Middle Eastern food, and this morning I falafel.

◘An egg pulls a cart with a yolk.

◘My mom asked me what kind cheese I wanted, and I havarti made my decision.

◘Is fear of sliced bacon irrational?

◘Since her kind gift of a lemon cake I rate her as one of Madeira friends.

◘It takes two to Mango

◘This may sound Bananas, but I find you Apeeling

 

[SUCH PUNS, SUCH LITTLE TIME, I'M SO SORRY, SO I HAD TO PAY YOU BACK BY GIVING YOU MORE PUNS THAN YOU CAN EAT XC

p.s. click the external link for more image-ized puns c:]