It's only noon and I've never felt such pain on my birthday before.
For the last several months it's just been one thing after another but since June has been a never ending pile of pain, drama, issues and tears.
I can't even begin to convey what I'm feeling to anyone.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, my birth is nothing to celebrate.
It's just another day. I'm used to being ignored and overlooked and so on but to be attacked and made to feel so much less than I already have been feeling is making this a day I'll never forget for all the wrong reasons.
Friends and family are almost non-existent to me now thanks to everything that happened. I can't have good intentions because they don't see it as that. I can't speak my mind because my words get twisted. I can't do anything because somehow or another it's wrong.
I'm always the bad guy and no one even cares or wants to hear what I have to say so why try? I'm 35 years old today and believe me I've tried, if I haven't I wouldn't be here.
Before anything else happens I want to tell you all that I love you all and I hope your day is amazing.
Don't worry about me, I'll live whether I want to or not.
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And no I don't want any damned pity, I'm venting and letting out my emotions before I shatter.
Not break, shatter.
I've already been broken in more ways than one and I'm trying to avoid shattering.
Broken pieces can be put back together but once something shatters there's no way to fix it.
