DANCING ON MY OWN (Charlie Puth)

T H I R T Y

"Need anything before you go?" I ask. He smirks at my crutches and then kisses my cheek.

"No angel, I'm good."

"Just trying to be nice." I roll my eyes with a light laugh.

"I love you for that." He says cheekily as he opens the door of our apartment to leave.

I smile to myself as I close the door behind him, and head to the couch to watch Rom-Com's by myself. It's been like this for the past week or so. Charlie goes to the studio with Shawn every chance he gets, and to think it took me so much nagging. He recorded some of his other songs, and there's a good possibility that he'll have a record deal of his own soon. He spends a lot of his time hiding in his room now, working on a potential album. That's the end goal anyway. While I fully support his hard work and motivation, I can't help but feel a tad bit lonely. I'm used to being with him 24/7 and now I have to give him a break.

I settle into the couch, fully prepared to cry during my movie marathon. Charlie will probably be at the studio for two or three hours, so I have plenty of time to spend crying over these movies. About a movie and a half into my viewing session, the doorbell rings. It's unlocked, so I know Shawn and Charlie didn't forget their keys, and Camila always just lets herself in anyway. I wasn't expecting anyone else to come over, so I get off of the couch as fast as I can with my crutches, and hobble over to the door. 

I pull it open without even checking through the peephole. It turns out that that was a terrible idea, because the person on the other side was not someone that I wished to see. Not now, not ever.

Josh.

I stare at him, mouth agape, eyes wide with horror.

"Mia, you answered..."

I can't say anything, I'm completely speechless.

"Can I come in?" He bites his lip and rocks on his heels nervously.

"No."

I suddenly find my voice and begin shutting the door in his face. He quickly puts his hand out to stop it and I feel the panic blossoming in my gut.

"Mia, please I just want to talk."

"I don't think that's a good idea." I whimper, giving up on trying to push the door shut, my body now weaker than it once was. I let a tear slip down my cheek and my breathing is more and more ragged by the second.

He notices my panicked state and quickly backs away, hands lifted in the air in defense.

"I'm not... I'm not going to hurt you Mia." I gulp and don't say anything, eyes flickering between him and the door that is not being held open anymore.

"I just want to talk, I need to talk to you. Please." He begs, looking as if he were in absolute despair. I remain silent, fearing the outcome of either response, yes or no.

"I'm not going to do anything I swear. It's just very important to me that I speak to you, I really need to get some things off my chest. Closure, ya know." I've seen Josh manipulate me into giving him what he wants before. Our whole relationship was just one big manipulative game in his eyes. I'm afraid that now, it's the same thing and I just can't see it. There's something in his face, in his eyes that makes me want to say yes.

Maybe I am too soft, and maybe I do let people walk all over me. People like Josh take advantage of that characteristic in people like me. Maybe this will end up being the dumbest decision I've ever made, but I gulp and nod my head anyway.

"I can come in?" He asks again, making sure he understood correctly.

I nod again, not speaking. He nods back and walks past me into the apartment. I can't help but tense up when his arm slightly brushes against mine and he sighs.