DANCING ON MY OWN (Charlie Puth)

T H I R T Y T W O

"Kids, it's time for dinner!" Debra yells down the stairs where the four of us are currently playing video games in the basement. Well, actually, Stephen and Charlie are playing video games, and Mikaela and I are watching them and talking about random things. The two of us are sitting on the couch, while the boys sit on the floor. Charlie's leaned back, resting between my legs and I'm running my fingers through his thick curly hair.

No one jumps up at Debra's words, they just continue to finish their game. Mikaela watches intently, laughing at her brothers, who both identically have their tongues out in concentration.

"Stephen, Mikaela, Charlie and Mia!" She yells once more with a mom voice. Both boys drop their controllers and the twins hurriedly scuttle up the stairs, and Charlie jumps up to help me. I get on his back since there is no way in hell I can climb all those stairs on my own. He takes his time, careful to not drop me, but I think he's still intimidated by his mother anyway.

He stops about halfway up the steps and smirks. "Y'know, it's not very often that I get to have your legs wrapped around me." He says, motioning to my legs that cling tightly to his torso as he grips the back of my thighs to prevent me from falling.

"Pervert." I laugh, trying to turn his flirts into a joke to avoid awkwardness. That's what I've been doing lately, because I know that soon, more will come of it. They said it at the party, I'm a virgin. Sometimes I look at the way he bites his lip, or notice his biceps straining through the sleeves of his t-shirt, or hearing him casually flirt with me, and I want to tear him limb from limb. The sexual tension is so high between the two of us lately, it's almost unbearable. But since I'm nervous about my possible first time with Charlie, my first time at all, I dodge his flirts at all costs, even if it does leave me extremely sexually frustrated.

"Don't act like you don't like it." He does his best to look at me from over his shoulder.

"Shut up-" I begin to dodge him again but he stops me.

"I see you getting all worked up when I flirt with you. It wouldn't kill you to just accept it, would it?" He gives a cocky grin and I roll my eyes at his tone. As much as it embarrassed me when he called me out on it, I couldn't help but feel a little turned on by his cockiness. Asshole.

"Take me up the stairs Charlie." I squint my eyes, just wanting to move on from this conversation.

"Well that answers my question." He laughs and continues up the stairs without another word about it. He thinks I'm a prude, doesn't he?

I'm not a prude, well at least I think I'm not. Then I think about my reaction to any of Charlie's flirtatious comments throughout our relationship. Oh God, I am a prude.

For the duration of dinner, I can't focus on anything other than the fact that as a girlfriend, I don't give Charlie what he needs. I'm coming to terms with the idea that our relationship is very one-sided. Charlie takes care of me, every want and need that I have. But I haven't done shit for him.

I have to remind myself to eat my food because I'm so busy with my thoughts, and I don't want Charlie's mom to think I don't like her cooking or something.

It's very unfair of me to dodge him all the time. He's my boyfriend, I'm supposed to let loose to him, let him have all of me, and know all of me. But I can't even do that. I've done nothing but hurt my own feelings by sitting here and thinking that he would be satisfied if he had any other girl, not me.

After everyone had finished eating, Mikaela and Debra were cleaning up the table and doing the dishes, and everyone was still sitting at the table, talking and catching up. I decided to excuse myself to the bathroom. I grab my crutches that were nearby and Charlie stops me before I can go too far.