Rush Draws Weird Things #3

it's okay

(this is kind of the second part to my 'don't listen' rant)

Okay, well, I'm not dead

Actually I think I'm...kind of...okay...for now...if I step carefully.

But really I don't know.

I don't know what I'm going to do about my family. They don't know what they're doing to me, and I can't tell them. I'm not a talker, they're not listeners, it's a mess. I can't really do anything about them- fights like this come out of nowhere, there's no way to predict them, there's no way to prevent them, there's no way to defuse them once they've started.

I spend a lot of time alone. It's not a choice, it's just how stuff happens. And when I'm alone and beyond upset, it's hard to think. Loneliness is dangerous in big doses- I usually channel my lethal aloneness into my writing and art, but sometimes it has nowhere to go but back into me. So right now, yes, I know that you're all there and you care about me even if you don't know me well and that you don't want anything to happen to me, but sometimes it's really hard to remember.

But anyway, this is for you.

All of you.

Let's go through the list, shall we?

Aiden_The_Writer, FandomsAreMyFuel, AwesomeYay99, BurningTheDragon, GPGames, Snowyflight, MegaSerperior, Ellie_Rose27, IforInvestigator, PexeLukive_Aranna, GennaJ8232, 7IdiotsKilledMyLife, HatsumiBamboo, Goldendoodlegamer11, Gaming_Girl_2005, LittleGiantPanda, _MusicPrincess_, VioletDolphin, becca4leafclover, AbsolxHTT, JayZX535, BlueGirlPrincess, Saucelot, TheSparklyKitten, Bunnylover426

Especially Aiden, because you spent a lot of time talking me down even though I was being a huge bitch, and WolfWinterStorm, because you were so nice to me even though I don't even know you.

I'm sorry I didn't take the time to respond to all of you, I swear I will I just don't have time right now

but anyway,

this is my response i guess