Double D's

ja-man

Imagine living in a world where you don't know what a fork is, or what its purpose is...

Understand? If not, just follow wherever this thing goes.

Well, now picture this tragic event...

You being your usual antisocial self, locked up in a tower reading, your latest and greatest Sarah J. Mass book (A/N anyone find the humour in that sentence). And yes, the fae baes finally-

Let's not spoil it for my dear ToG virgins. But you get the point.

It was basically a Buzzfeed and people free weekend!

So when Monday morning arrives, the school is buzzing. Everyone is extremely peppy for a MONDAY!

And no, this isn't a dream. What in hell is happening?

HOW NOT TO GET MURDERED IN WAR:

Ask Away:

These are your friends, right? They wouldn't be mad if you had no idea what the topic of their conversation is, I'm sure. So go ahead, ask them about it even though you've been nodding along to whatever they've been saying. People are actually more understanding than we give them credit for sometimes.

A Change in Topic:

Too shy to ask? Don't worry, you can always present a new topic! One that would interest all people in your little group. Remember what that one kid at school did the other day? How about the big reveal of something from that one show? Ooh! Or maybe that cute guy your one friend has been gushing about?

Wallet Talk:

So you can't think of another topic to come up with because your friends are just that dull. Fear not! I present to you a brilliant solution! You'll need only but two things:

Your wallet. And the money in it.

Offer to treat your friends to some drinks or something. Maybe try out that new ice cream shop down the road. That'll get them to talking about your rare show of generosity, for sure!

Sorry, No English:

Okay, so you're actually pretty broke, and the last option really wouldn't work for you. Fret not, you should. Dig into the long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, lost forgotten line of your gene pool, and pull up that foreign side of your family that your mother swore you have! She even checked in with Ancestry DNA, so she's mega positive about it. Act like you've never spoken English in your entire life, and throw your friends in for a loop. If you're good, then you'll amaze them. Or you'll thoroughly confuse them. But hey, they deserve it for talking about something you had no idea of, so it's all good.

All About Me:

"Hey! You know what we should definitely talk about? Me!". Turns out, you're actually a pretty interesting friend, so turn the topic table around to you, and start talking about the series of unfortunate events that is your life. Sure, they may already know half of it, or maybe all of it! But it's always good to jog up their memory every once in a while, see if they were really listening the last time you told them about having to babysit your little booger of a cousin. Or how you totally, TOTALLY, did NOT, embarras yourself infront of the school hearth throb. And if they get bored, just make up a few crazy but believable stories!

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Lesson Learned: Always check Buzzfeed before you leave the house.