RBF with US II (Random Book Filled with Update and Stuff)

...

I am actually kinda happy that not a lot of people have this update book on their library, yet.

So anyways... yeah. Moody again, but this time is a bit more painful.

I'm still at school, and I've haven't smiled or anything, yet. I haven't laugh, smile or anything that includes happy things. And I started daydreaming about cutting and hurting myself with razor blade's'.

I use like 3 to 6 razors for hurting my arms, legs and on my face slightly.

On my arm, it says "Failure", over and over. On my legs, it says "Useless".

Why? For the arms, I use my arms for nothing. No things that can make everyone proud, they only get mad and disappointed.

On my legs, I always walk on the wrong paths. Every.time.

I feel like I am "A Fading No One"

Unravel lyrics.

So yeah... I feel i wanted to stop existing in this world. But, I know that there will be people kept thinking about me, which is risky. But still, I could potentially die anytime. While I sleep, while I walking to home from school, and such.

I actually suppose to die when I was young. I fall down from a high place to the dirty grounds, neck hit down first. If it was rock, then I would be happy :).

But, fate has more things planned, so I must press on.

Sorry for the dramas, I just wanna keep it to myself, but one day I know that I will share it with you all.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I am a weird, stupid, worthless and useless being. I know I am.

I know you all cared for me, but please, you all first. I dont want you to suffer what I've been suffering. I don't want you all to fall on the same empty hole.

Please. Take care. ♡

P.S: I'll be fine. Please take care of yourselves first. ♡