Diamond no Ace Imagines.{DnA x Reader}

Change.(Sawamura Eijun)

-Thank you for requesting! Enjoy!-

Ever since Sawamura's first experience with yips, his condition only worsened severely. But the worst thing about his disability was that it was very unpredictable. At one point, he'd become the trump card of the whole game, and at other times, he'd be a useless burden to the team. Nobody wanted to admit it, but he was costing them crucial runs that they couldn't afford to lose. Of course, Sawamura was the one who beat himself up the most, after all, HE witnessed his teammates struggle with his somewhat new disadvantage. Yet he pushed through his limitations and tried his best at all times. Perhaps the coach knew how much Sawamura loved playing, because he was pretty adamant about keeping him on the team. It wasn't until the final game of the season, where Eijun finally broke down for good.

Everybody was silent as their eyes trail to the ground, you watched in painful agony as your boyfriend trudged back to the pit with his hand on his cap. Even through his desperate attempts to hide his face, you could hear his sharp inhales of hair and see the endless stream of tears dripping down his chin. There were usually words of reassurance and support, but today, there was none. It was the reality of it all, that had started to sink into everybody's heavy hearts. The game was over. They lost. And there was no going back to fix anything. Sawamura collapses heavily on the bench and leaned forward to dig his palms into his eyes. His teeth were clenched over his lips and the gulping followed right after as he stifled his sobs. That snapped you back into action, and you approached him carefully with a hand outstretched to run it through his damp hair.

  You let out a small gasp as he lashed out to slap your hand away from him. The harsh sound echoes around you, and everybody turned to watch in shock. You shrink back from him, as the stinging sensation increased in the area where his callused palm had made contact with. The tears of hurt stung at the corners of your eyes, but you furiously blinked them back to avoid causing anymore of a scene. However, Kanemaru snapped when he caught sight of your trembling shoulders as you quickly made your way out of the stadium alone.

"Go and apologize to (Your Name)." He hissed lowly as his teeth clenched over each other in seething anger.

  As the broken boy in front of him made no effort to say a single thing. Shinji's hand shot out and grabbed the cuff of his uniform before dragging his body up with explosive energy. The rest of the team just watched, the coach remained as stoic as ever.

"I said, go and apologize to (Your Name)," Shinji growled. "And I won't ask you again."

"I can't face her." Sawamura murmurs weakly.

  Shinji released his death grip around the pitcher's neck and shoved him towards the bench. His brown eyes were lit with elements of frustration, but they quickly dim over as he clenched his hand into fists. The tension grew thick enough to cut with a knife and everybody could tell that he was hiding back the urge to sock the dejected man in front of him. At that stage there was no room for loyalty or friendship.

"Then you are more weak than you think." Shinji provoked with a pessimistic sneer.

Sawamura's shoulders twitched and in an instant, he shot up with his fists raised above his head to strike. But before he could, a rough hand held it in place. He attempted to detach himself, but his arm is strained back further with violent force.

"Enough." Miyuki breathed a powerful command, and watched as Sawamura's expression reach it's pinnacle.

  Distance was all that mattered. Sawamura wasn't stopping for anything. He needed to get far away from everything as possible; he needed to escape reality. The mere thought of not being able to pitch ever again sent his emotions into a whirlwind of negativity. To him, baseball was his life and soul, and to have that ripped away from him, it was terribly unfair. If reality were to be so cruel, he neither wanted to face it nor accept it. He would've been able to get away, but his footsteps faltered as he stood face to face with you. From the distance apart, he could tell from the redness of your eyes, that you had been crying. An overwhelming pang of guilt punished his innards and his own stream of tears intensified. He watched through blurry frames as your eyes widened at his first sob before shutting his  own tightly. Yet the tears kept leaking through, and he didn't have enough hands to wipe them clean.

  It was more than crying, it was the sound of isolated sobbing that came from a person drained of their hopes and dreams. His face creased with no other sounds but the intensification of grief. He was mourning the death of his future, and all you could do was stand there and watch him crumble.

"E-everything's changing, (Your Name). I'm...I'm scared!" He cried convulsively and a ragged sound of him hyperventilating fuels your feet to propel towards his slouched form. "What am I supposed to do now?!"

  You crashed into his body and wrapped your arms around his neck tightly. He clutched on to your waist, clasping your body towards him as he buried his tear-stained face into your neck as the helpless cries turn into serious bawling. Your own body shook as your howls are masked by his. At that moment, you had become one. Depending on each other was something you were used to doing, but this was entirely a new situation. You had to support him, or he'd crumble into nothingness. He needed you to stay rooted to the painful reality. He needed to endure the pain, or he wouldn't have made it in such a harsh world.

"You keep playing. You keep going. You keep fighting. Eijun, never give up on anything, not me, not baseball. Not anything."

  After Sawamura finally calming down, you both rejoined the rest of the team as if nothing had happened. Obviously, it was pretty clear that something had happened, judging by the swollen redness around both your eyes. Yet, everybody acted as if they hadn't noticed. It was maybe more of the fact that they didn't want to comment. As the bus moves steadily over the roads, you lean into Eijun's chest as his arm draped around your shoulder. He seemed to be in such deep thought as he stared intensely at the scenery as it shot by. He then shut his eyes for a brief second before leaning his cheek against your (Your Hair Color) hair and taking a steady breath in.

"Thank you."