blurry face - phan

chapter nineteen

// BLURRY FACE WAS RANKED #225 IN FANFIC OMG GUYS I FEEL ACCOMPLISHED IN LIFE

ps: new covers, yay or nay? //

dan

Dan is getting worse.

Well, he isn't but his parents sure are. And inevitably, that effects him. What used to make Dan feel better no longer work. His friends lift his spirits momentarily, but they can't be with him twenty for hours a day.

It's not just his parents though, Dan just feel off. He just has this twisted feeling inside his gut telling him that something is going to happen, that something is wrong.

Dan looks down at his sketchbook, where he has another sketch of Phil. In the picture, Phil is just looking down at his phone, but he has the softest hint of a smile on his lips.

It's tricky to draw Phil, because as soon as Dan makes one tiny error so that it changes the face, it turns blurry again. At least that way Dan knows if he's doing it right or not though.

Although it's been quite a while, he still does miss Phil. He thinks of him every day, and god he misses his eyes the most. Dan's drawings just don't do them justice.

Dan hears the front door open. His mother is already home, so his father must have just gotten home as well. Dan groans, reaching over and picking up his phone, plugging in his noise canceling headphones and scrolling through his music, looking for the loudest songs he can find.

'They're gonna clean up your looks with all the lies and the books to make a citizen out of you...'

Dan is beginning to hear some yelling and screaming, but the chorus is approaching so that should drown them out... Hopefully.

'TEENAGERS SCARE THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME!'

The yelling is replaced with the music. Satisfied, Dan turns back to his drawing and continues it. He's trying to just ignore his parents, praying that it will all just go away even though he knows it won't - and it seemingly never will.

He just wants them to give up, to just stop. They're obviously not happy together, and their constant fighting and neglect for their son has - and still is - really effected Dan. He wants to let them see that. A drunken collapse obviously wasn't enough. Dan has ditched the rehab now anyway, he's basically over it.

To make them really listen, he'd have to do something drastic. And soon enough, Dan will go over the edge just enough to finally loose his mind. If his parents refuse to end their fighting, Dan might just end himself instead.

Dan's life never meant that much to him anyway. His life is fucked anyway; no faces, a shitty family, a drinking problem - to name a few.

He just knows that he can't keep going on like this. There's nothing in his life which is keeping him stable, keeping his sanity. Even when he pictures Phil's eyes, it doesn't work - they're growing blurry as well and it's making him panic. [! at the disco]

What if Phil's face is blurry if Dan ever sees him again? His eyes in Dan's memory are blurring, but is that only because he hasn't seen them in so long?

Dan sighs, looking back down at his paper, where Phil is smirking up at him. Phil could be anywhere now, he could be dead and Dan wouldn't even know. He wishes that his life could be simple. Dan wishes for a lot of things actually, but if he could have one wish right now;

He'd wish for Phil to be right here with him, helping him to chase away the dark.

***