Four weeks.
Four weeks since Lauren had seen Camila. A month since she'd had any type of contact with the younger girl. Twenty eight days since she drove Camila to the hospital and watched her disappear down the hallway with tears streaming down her face.
Lauren had tried contacting her multiple times, but to no avail. She'd even considered catching the next flight to Missouri and barging her way into the center, but her bandmates had convinced her otherwise.
Getting this attached to Camila had never been her plan. It had just... happened.
Lauren couldn't sleep. She'd lay awake wondering what Camila was doing at that very moment. She'd wonder what the younger girl had eaten today. She wondered if Camila missed her.
Suddenly, light flooded into her bedroom and the green eyed girl groaned in annoyance. She rolled over on her back, rubbing her eyes and glaring at the Polynesian girl that stood in the doorway.
"Get up," Dinah said firmly, walking over to the windows and drawing the curtains aside.
"Go away," Lauren muttered, covering her head with her pillow and sighing heavily. Moments later, the blankets were tugged from overtop her. Lauren groaned and pulled her legs up to her chest.
"Lauren, it's already 1 o'clock," Dinah crossed her arms and gave her bandmate a look that meant business. "You have to get out of bed eventually."
"Who says?" Lauren mumbled from under the pillow. She groaned when two strong hands flipped her over, off of the bed, and onto the floor. She landed with a thud and glared at Dinah in annoyance. "What do you want?"
"Get dressed. We're meeting the girls for lunch," Dinah nodded once, leaning against the doorway.
"I never agreed to this," Lauren huffed, standing up and brushing herself off.
"You've barley left the house in weeks, Lo, you're going," Dinah raised an incriminating eyebrow at her friend. "No ifs, ands, or buts about it."
Lauren rolled her eyes, but knew better than to argue with Dinah. She shooed the girl out of her room before digging around in her dresser and finding something comfortable to wear. Trudging into the bathroom, she winced when she saw herself in the mirror. She looked horrible.
The bags in her eyes were highlighted by her smudged makeup, which ran down her face. Lauren splashed water on her face to try and wake herself up.
Okay, so she hadn't exactly been taking Camila's disappearance too well. She couldn't help but blame herself, and her bandmate's attempts to comfort her had only caused arguments between them. What Lauren needed was Camila, and that was the one thing she couldn't have.
After feeling so protective over Camila for so long, Lauren felt completely useless when the girl was taken away from her. She'd put so much effort into taking care of her friend that she'd completely forgotten to take care of herself. So when Camila left, Lauren felt empty.
She glanced over at her makeup bag on the counter, debating with herself for a moment before rolling her eyes and deciding she didn't feel like it. It's not like she had anyone to impress, anyway. She brushed through her hair and changed into a pair of loose fitting jeans and her favorite band t-shirt.
"You look better," Dinah commented when Lauren trudged downstairs, grabbing an apple from the counter and biting into it.
"I still look like shit," Lauren mumbled. Dinah didn't disagree with her, and Lauren knew it was the truth. She felt like shit, and she looked like shit. She was well aware.
"Are we going or what?" Lauren sighed, tossing the half eaten apple into the trash can.
"Yeah," Dinah nodded and grabbed her keys from the counter, ushering Lauren outside and towards her car. "Mani wanted pizza, so we're meeting them at Laurienzo's."
Lauren's teeth clenched. Camila liked pizza. Well, she had before. Lauren doubted Camila had a favorite food. Dinah noticed the girl tense up and immediately realized the cause of her frustration.
"Hey, c'mon, let's just try and forget about it for now," Dinah said, placing a hand on Lauren's shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. Lauren sighed and shrugged softly.
"Yeah, whatever," she slid into the passenger seat of Dinah's car and lay her head against the window as they drove.
Ten minutes later, they were sliding into the booth in the back of the restaurant, where her two other bandmates were already sitting. Ally smiled softly at Lauren, who attempted to return the gesture but ended up just nodding in acknowledgement.
"How are you, Lo?" Normani asked, reaching across the table and laying her hand atop the green eyed girl's. Lauren looked up and shrugged.
"Fine," she sighed, looking down at her menu to try and appear as if she were doing something.
"That's a lie," Dinah said from beside her. Lauren glared at her, rolling her eyes.
"There's nothing I can do about it anyway, so I might as well just forget about it and get over it," Lauren huffed, grabbing her glass of water and sliding it closer, taking a sip and running a hand through her hair. She didn't know losing someone could be physically painful, but her whole body ached.
Her other bandmates were unsure of how to respond. Ever since Camila had left, Lauren had been like a ticking time bomb. One wrong move, and you'd set her off. They all had to be extremely careful of what they said around her.
"Laur," Ally sighed. "We know she's your best friend, she's our friend too, but you... you can't keep being so hard on yourself. It's doing you no good."
"She's not just my best friend," Lauren growled, pressing her palms onto the table and pushing herself up. Confused, the other girls all exchanged glances. Before they could question Lauren any further, the green eyed girl had already slipped out of the booth and was storming off towards the bathroom.
The second she was alone, Lauren's fist whirled around and connected with the wall. She yelped when she realized the wall was solid tile, and pain shot up her arm. Cursing herself for being so stupid, she slid down with her back to the wall and sat on the floor, trying to breathe normally.
Trying to calm herself down, she began scrolling through tumblr to get her mind off of things. A picture caught her eye and she tapped on it so she could read it. Blue, scrawled pen was written on a torn piece of paper.
"That is the problem. If she wanted to dance I would let her wreck the furniture. If she wanted to cook I would let her burn down the house. And if she wanted to scream I would let her deafen me. I've never loved anyone enough to let them destroy me but God, she could take me by the throat and my eyes would sparkle at the mere inches between us."
Lauren bit her lip at how much this post reminded her of Camila. She reblogged it, glancing up at the username of the person who'd caused it to appear on her dashboard. Her phone nearly fell out of her hands.
waakeme-up
Camila.
Lauren quickly went to her blog, realizing the picture had been reblogged within the last hour. Her breathing quickened and she felt as if she was going to pass out. Immediately, her shaking hands dialed Camila's number and pressed the phone to her ear, praying for an answer.