chapter 4 ➸ this isn't something i'm used to

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Camila took three sips of tea before setting it down on the chair next to her. All the girls were staring at her, with the exception of Lauren. She felt like an animal in a zoo.

“Need something?” she snapped. All three girls quickly looked down at their phones and Camila turned back around.

The nurse came into the room moments later, scolding Camila once more for taking out her IV. Camila just remained silent until she was gone, until she felt Lauren’s hand on her shoulder.

“Do you want them gone?” she whispered, leaning down so the other girls couldn’t hear her. Camila shrugged, biting her lip.

“If they wanna keep staring at me like I’m some sort of circus act, yeah,” she mumbled. A few moments later she realized that she’d actually spoken and bit her lip. Lauren just nodded at her and sat back down.

“So are what’re you guys doing now that the tour’s off?” Lauren asked, trying to create some sort of conversation.

“Going home,” Normani and Ally replied at the same time, causing them to laugh.

“Same here,” Dinah added, looking up at Lauren. “You?”

“Same,” Lauren nodded.

“Oh, Laur, bring back some Florida sun for me, okay?” Ally laughed and Camila reached over for the cup on the chair. As long as she continued bouncing her leg up and down while she drank, she’d speed up her metabolism and hopefully keep the calories from causing her any harm.

“I would if I was going to Florida,” Lauren shrugged. All three girls raised an eyebrow at her.

“I thought you said you were going home?”

“I am.”

“So you’re going to Florida…”

Lauren shook her head. “Nope.”

“Well then where are you g—“

“Her house in LA,” Camila snapped, turning around so she was facing the girls. She hated when they took it upon themselves to interrogate her. And now it bothered her when they did the same to Lauren, apparently.

“You don’t have a house in LA….?” Normani spoke up. Camila grew confused.

“I do now,” Lauren said, not looking at Camila.

“Since when?” Ally asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yesterday.”

All three girls looked at Camila, expecting some sort of explanation. But she was just as confused as they were. She’d just assumed Lauren had a house in LA, and she’d never heard about it, considering she hadn’t talked to her in what felt like forever. But now it seemed like she wasn’t the only one that didn’t know about it.

“Yesterday?” Dinah asked, astonished.

“Wait, you’re telling me you bought a house in LA just so you could take care of Camil—“

Lauren glared at Ally who quickly cupped her hands over her mouth.

Camila was confused. Lauren wouldn’t do something like that.

“That’s ridiculous, Ally,” Camila spoke up, setting her cup down and crinkling her nose when the IV at her arm prevented her from reaching out too far. It was like a leash. An annoying, detrimental leash.

She saw Lauren sigh and slump back in her chair. “Wait, Lauren… did you—?”

“I just felt like buying a house, okay?” Lauren snapped, and Camila quickly shut up. She bit her lip, turning back around and laying down facing the window. She heard Lauren sigh and squeezed her eyes shut.

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She didn’t like people caring about her.

“Lauren, you’re insane! She’s not gonna get any better with you, you don’t know what you’re doing, you’re not a doctor,” Dinah said quietly. Camila could tell the girls were trying to make sure she didn’t hear them, but she heard their conversation loud and clear.

“I think you should just let them send her to Missouri,” Ally added.

That was it.

Camila shot up, turning around and yanking the IV out of her arm. For the third time in 24 hours. Sliding off of her bed, she stood in front of the three girls and balled her hands into fists.

“I am not going to Missouri! I’m going with Lauren,” she snapped, flinging her arm out to point at the green-eyed girl a few feet away from her. “If you want to talk about me, do it to my face! Don’t tell Lauren how to handle me,” she huffed, whipping her head around and disappearing into the bathroom that adjoined her hospital room.

She sat down against the wall, taking a deep breath. She was cold. It was cold. Her teeth were chattering. Camila wrapped her arms around her torso and made herself take deep breaths to calm down. A few minutes later there was a knock at the door.

Whoever it was didn’t wait for Camila to respond before walking in the room. Camila kept her head buried in her knees, not caring who was trying to comfort her.

Someone slid down the wall, sitting a few feet away from her. Camila was overwhelmed by the scent of Lauren’s perfume and relaxed a little when she realized who it was.

“I made them leave.”

Camila didn’t respond to her. She just stayed still.

Lauren noticed she was shaking and slipped her own hoodie over her head, leaving herself in a black tank top. “Here,” she whispered, nudging the piece of clothing into Camila’s hands.

Camila looked up, confused at why Lauren had given her the sweatshirt.

“Put it on, silly,” Lauren nodded once. Camila remained quiet, but pulled the while hoodie over her head, instantly surrounded by Lauren’s scent.

“Thanks,” Camila mumbled after a few seconds.

“Thanks for standing up for me,” Lauren replied, and Camila shot her a glare, her mind telling her to stop warming up to her.

“I wasn’t standing up for you. I was just not going to let them be stupid,” Camila huffed. Lauren bit her lip and nodded.

"Well thanks for giving them an excuse to leave,” she laughed nervously.

Camila stayed quiet for a few moments before nodding softly. “It’s just… I hate when they ask so many questions. They’re not detectives, I don’t have to tell them every single detail about my life.”

“They’ve done it to you before?” Lauren asked. She immediately regretted it when Camila glared at her.

“Y’think?” she rolled her eyes and pulled the hood over her head to keep her face hidden. Lauren sighed.

“Every fucking day, Lauren. Finally I just started walking out of the room. I can do whatever I want to my body. It’s none of their business if I skip a meal or two. None. Of. Their. Business.”

Lauren realized this was the first time Camila had actually addressed her problem with eating around her. If progress existed, this must be it.

Camila flinched when she felt a hand on her shoulder, but Lauren kept it there even still.

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