Eritrea

"A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one." George R. R. Martin
In my case, the quote needs a little adaptation. This reader lives a thousand lives through stories. But she dares not live her own. 
It is said that reading is food for the soul. If that is true, my soul starves continuously. It is never quite fully satisfied. 
I've had the fortune to know my soul felt incomplete from a very young age. Feeling an inexplicable longing that is so strong, it throws your head for a loop. I've never known what to do about it. I'm pretty sure I still don't. It makes a funny sort of sense that my favorite song is Lost without you by Robin Thicke.   
There's a warmth missing from my life that I don't know how to find. I try to find it between the pages of a book, the notes of music, the sound of rain, in my dreams. Sometimes it's there for a fleeting second. But it never stays. And I can never hold on to it. At some points in time it drives me certifiable. It feels like my soul reaching out to something far away. Stretching itself so thin, it feels physically painful sometimes. I have no freaking clue what to do about it. 
Maybe you do?