Beautifully Scarred

Chapter 51

:;:;:;: It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are... EE Cummings. :;:;:;:;
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Oscar
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Dear Mr. D'Amore.

           Congratulations!
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into Yale University. Do to your high grades, outstanding test scores, amazing essay we are sure that you will make a wonderful addition to our University.

You will find additional paperwork to fill out and mail in. The first semester begins on the first of September. We look forward to seeing you soon.

                Sincerely,
              Peter Salovey, President of Yale University.

~·~
I crumble up the letter in my fist. Leaning back in the chair, I toss the paper ball to the trash, it doesn't make a goal. Instead it bounces of the rim of the trash can and falls to the floor.
Lex just happens to step in at that moment. He bends down to grab the paper. I watch as he opens it up, reading it. When he is finished he looks over at me.

"Are you going lecture me?" I ask.

I lean back in my chair next to Bells. Waiting for what I assume will be a firm talking to. Lex takes the seat on the opposite side. The way he relaxs into the chair makes me raise a brow in his direction.

"No." His answer is simple. "It's your future. I don't care if you flip burgers for the rest of your life. I will be proud of you no matter what."

My lips form a firm line. "You mean that?"

He grins. "I wouldn't have said it, if I didn't mean it."

I look to the girl laying in the bed next to me. If I go to Connecticut, I will be leaving her behind. It doesn't matter really, I won't leave her until she wakes.

"We'll see what happens," I mumble.

"They will need to know soon," he tells me.

I nod.
It's been nearly two months since Bells was put into ICU. Her body is healing, slowly. Almost too slow. My last days of high school have been spent here. In my little chair, by her bed, holding her hand.
Luckily, for the both of us, our grades are high enough that we should be able to graduate on time. If she gets the chance at all. Lex heads home as the sun begins to set. Another sleepless night waits on me.
Mia is carrying on with plans for a large graduation party. That woman is more determined than anyone to try to make things as 'normal' as possible. None of us is in much of a mood for partying.
Maggie still has fits of tears whenever Sarahbeth asks about Bells. While my baby brother is now mastering holding his head steady while being sat up. Little man Axton is growing bigger every day. Time it seems goes on for everyone else, while my whole world has come to a stop.
I know that Lex is right. If I am going to Yale, they will need confirmation soon or they will give my place to another. She would want me to go, she said so herself, but how can I leave her behind while she is like this?
I flip on the T.V. sick of wondering what if or what I should do. I watch an episode of 'Ridiculousness' that I've seen twenty times. I decide that it is better than nothing and lean back in my chair. My eyes have nearly shut completely when all of the sudden, the heart monitors begins to beep faster.
Her hand squeezes tightly. I press the button for the nurse. When her chest starts to jerk as if she is coughing, I run out to the hall.

"Someone get in here, quick!"

They all fly in. Nurses and Doctors. It forces me to the hall, there is not being enough room for all of us. I pace the floor as I make a call to Doctor Logan. He and Lex are both on their way back to the hospital. I would give anything to know what was going on. With the way things have been it can't be anything good. Mia rings me, having already spoken to Lex.

"Breathe, Oscar. Breathe. You said her hand squeezed. That's a good sign, probably. Just hang on until Lex gets there," she tells me.

I do as she says. Trying to calm my fear and anxiety. They are still working on her when Lex walks in. Dr. Logan is already in there with her. Lex doesn't stop to ask me anything, he walks up to the window looking into her room. The curtains have been closed so he opens the door. A nurse shooes him out.

"I don't have a clue what they are saying," he grumbles.

"Something bad is happening," I explain.

"You don't know that," he snaps at me. "Don't even say that."

"She's leaving me," the words come out despite his warning.

He bends down to meet my zombie like gaze. "Don't give up on her. We don't know anything yet."

"What did you see in there?" I ask.

His face falls. I wish I hadn't have asked now.

"What did you see?" I question him again needing to know even though I get the feeling I don't want to know the answer.

He stands, not wanting to see my face when he tells me.

"There was just a lot of blood in some of the tubes. On their hands. I don't know what that means though," he says as gently as he can.

I rest my elbows on my knees then my head in my hands. What will I do without her? I have never been so utterly consumed by another person before. She is everything to me. She is all I want and now she is leaving me.
I don't think I can handle this. In fact, I know I can't. Arabella Green stole my heart before I had even realized what was happening to me. I remember the first day of school, when I had bumped into her on the walkway. Had I known then that she would completely become the most important person in my world, would I do it all again? Like I would have had much choice. From that moment on, I have thought of only her. And I know, that if I had to do it all over again, I would have loved her anyway. I'd do it all the same. 
I wouldn't trade a moment of having her in my life. Even if I would have known the way she would leave me, I wouldn't trade a second.
I hear the door open and don't even bother to look up. I already know what Dr. Logan is going to say. I brace myself, waiting for him to say the words.

"She is...breathing. Their cleaning her up now."

I look up at him. Not believing my own ears.

"The blood?" I ask.

He nods. "She was choking. That's why she gripped the blankets. They pulled the tubes out carefully but it's not uncommon for their to be a little blood, the tube scraps the inside of the throat some-"

I cut him off, while standing to my feet. "She is breathing on her own?"

He nods with a smile. The relief hits me so hard that I black out for a moment.  Landing hard on the tile floor.