Book of Shadows pt. 1

Deities: How I Find Them

This is more of just me rambling than it is anything else but enjoy it.

I can feel Apollo in the rays of sunshine as I sip my morning coffee from the back porch of my grandparents house. The warmth hitting my back and a weight drops onto my shoulders like a friend draping their arms over them from behind and perching there. When the sun fades away it lingers a bit, then the weight recedes. I feel him sit behind me on the piano benches as I play and continue to learn and grow as a pianist. Reminds me that it takes time to become great.

I feel Aphrodite in the way my significant other smiles at me, laughs at my shitty puns. I can feel her smiling as we sing together on discord even though we're 900 miles apart. She stays with me with the rose quartz I wear almost every day.

Athena I find in the midst of a long study session. She tells me to take a break every now and then. Drink some water, take a walk, and keep going. I feel her guidance when a concept clicks in my head in that small triumphant moment. I feel her walk beside me around campus. I can feel her also urging me to do my best even when I don't think I can.

I feel Artemis beside me when I argue with my brother. She understands having a slightly annoying sibling, she gives comfort that it won't be like that forever. I feel her guidance when I am able to gather courage to do something I needed to. I can feel her smiling with Apollo as I sing with my college choir. She takes my hand and leads me through the forests where I like to wander.

Ares keeps my fire burning. He's the rage I feel at the worlds injustice. The anger from being suppressed and abused for so long. The anger at the world for being so cruel. He fights beside me as I prove others wrong and fight for what I believe in.

Demeter is there as I sow seeds in the springs and care for them through summer. She guides my hands as I weed and harvest come the harvest months. She guides me as I bake bread on weekends, guides me along side Hestia when I am home.

Dionysus keeps me safe when I'm out with friends, having fun. Helps to cheer me up with that good weird uncle advice. He reminds me that I'm still young even if I am an old soul.

Hekate reminds me to continue to learn and grow in my crafts. She puts all of those beautifully tempting tarot decks onto my Pinterest feed. She guides me when I clean and reorganise my altar space. Helping me decide what to keep out and what to put away.

Hermes guides me while I learn to drive. He sits in the back behind the drivers seat and keeps a hand on my shoulder. He reminds me to relax while I'm behind the wheel, keeping me safe and focused. Hermes helps me when I choose to pick up yet another language. Currently he's helping me with French.

Hephaestus helps me with last minute repairs I do. All of my strange DIY projects. He helps me find where things should go and helps with my strange construction ideas.

Hades always manages to find me when I've hit my lows. He was one of the first of the Gods I met with, nearly 7 years ago now. He held my hand and lead me away from the harm I did to myself. He's helped me through the death of family members in more recent years, though solemn, still like an old friend. I feel him there in the calm after the storm, in the newfound energy rebounding from a wave of depression.

Hera has helped in unseen ways with family. I don't have much of a relationship with her but I know she is still there.

Hestia has helped guide me to feel safe in my own home again. She helped me to turn my bedroom into my safe space, protects it. My hearth is my bookshelf that she helped to set up. I feel her in the home cooked meals, in moments when my family comes together whether in good or bad circumstances.

I see Persephone in the rising colors that bloom in spring and in the changing leaves of fall. I see her in the stories of women in charge, of women who haven't let someone else dictate what they can and can't do. She has my back when I stand up for myself when people tell me I can't do something.

I find Poseidon in a breeze that sounds like crashing waves and the way a river flows. I see him in the sea shells I have scattered around my room. I feel him in the memories of summers that have come and gone, in the photographs that will forever capture those warm days. I feel his presence in the stables I've volunteered at.

I've found Zeus in a typical thunderstorm of heavy rains and high winds, loud thunder and cracks of blinding lightning. I've seen him in the static lightning that I'll watch from my deck on summer afternoons.