The Secrets Hidden Within The Dairies Of The Nations

Eavesdropping Norwegian

I'm so sorry for the long wait! I was really busy with a last minute move and haven't had the time to do any writing. But, for now at least, everything is settled and I should be able to get back to my normal writing schedule. 

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Lukas sighed in frustration as he continued to search for Mathias. He had separated himself from the other Nordic's a while ago, since he had convinced Berwald and Tino to get Emil some lunch much to the Icelandic's annoyance. They had only agreed because if anyone was going to find the Dane it was going to be him, and yet he still couldn't find him anywhere. 

He leaned against the nearest wall and sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. He still couldn't believe everything that had been in Mathias' entries, he had no idea he had been hurting the Dane this whole time. Pulling on his tie to shut him up had just become a habit he had no idea it could cause such an awful side effect. He felt awful what if Mathias had really lost his voice, would the Dane even let him know it was his fault? He doubted it. 

He pushed himself off of the wall so that he could continue only to pause when he heard voices coming from one of the old meeting rooms, it was to small for world meetings so it was forgotten about. He creeped up to it and slowly pushed the door open, just enough so that he could see inside but no one could see him. 

He peeked in and saw Alfred pacing back and forth with some papers in his hand looking incredibly stressed, a little ways away was Gilbert speaking to Mathias with a worried expression on his face. Lukas narrowed his eyes slightly as he leaned in a bit closer so that he could hear what they were saying. 

"Really Mat why did you never tell us?" Gilbert asked causing Alfred to pause in his pacing and for Mathias to sigh. 

"I didn't want to worry anyone" Mathias explained tiredly. Lukas clenched his fist, he so badly wanted to call the Dane an idiot but he didn't want to draw attention to himself yet. Besides it looked like Alfred was about to loose it anyways. 

Alfred spun on his heel to face Mathias with an almost crazed laugh escaping him, matching the exasperated expression on his face as he waved the papers in his hand around. 

"Worry us? Mathias are you insane! You keeping this a secret has only worried us more!" He shouted, Mathias crossed his arms and gave Alfred an unimpressed look.

"And what would me telling you have changed?" He asked rhetorically, Gilbert went to interject but Alfred was already on a role. 

"Oh I don't know, maybe we could have helped you! You aren't helping anyone by suffering alone Mathias!" Alfred snapped causing a humorless laugh to escape the Dane which startled Lukas and made Gilbert and Alfred uneasy. 

"You are such a hypocrite Alfred" He said as he stood up. Alfred and Gilbert shared a confused look as the Dane walked closer t Alfed. 

"You want me to come to you with my problems but you don't even trust us with yours!" He snapped causing Alfred to freeze in horror and a confused expression to appear on Gilbert's face. Lukas furrowed his eyebrows, what could Alfred possibly hiding that would cause Mathias to react in such a way. 

"H-how do you know about that?" Alfred asked worriedly causing Mathias to scoff. 

"It wasn't that hard to figure out Alfred. You skip meals like it's nothing and when you do eat you always disappear right after and always come back looking as pale as a ghost" Mathias said causing Gilbert's eyes to widen in realization before his attention turned to Alfred who was shaking. 

Lukas leaned away from the door to process what he had just heard, did Alfred have what he thought he had? Oh god if he did Berwald and Tino were going to loose it they love the American like their own son. He really did not want to be the one to tell them, he'll wait till the book does it cause this is to big of a secret not to be in it. He shook his head to clear it before leaning back in to see what was going on. 

"Alfie are you..." Gilbert trailed off when Alfred nodded weakly while curling in on himself. Gilbert shared a look with Mathias who had a sad expression on his face, this wasn't how he wanted to breach the subject but there was nothing they could do now. 

"It doesn't matter" The American muttered while looking away which caused annoyed expressions to appear on the others faces. 

"And why's that Alfred?' Gilbert asked angrily only for him and Mathias to stumble back when Alfred whirled around with an angry expression on his face. 

"BECAUSE I DON'T MATTER!!!" He shouted hysterically before breaking down while collapsing to his knees with loud sobs escaping him. Horrified expression appear on Gilbert and Mathias' faces before they rushed over to Alfred side trying to comfort the sobbing American. 

Lukas looked away uncomfortably. He shouldn't be seeing this, this was a moment between friends. He wasn't super close to the American but he still cared about him and seeing him so broken was just heart breaking. He glanced back when they started talking again. 

"Alfie you do matter, please don't think like that" Mathias whispered worriedly while hugging the American closer to him. Alfred sniffled while he nodded weakly into the Danes chest. Mathias looked up when he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

"That applies to you to Mat" Gilbert said causing a faint sigh to escape the Danes lips. 

"You too Gil"He said causing the Prussian to snort before glancing down at Alfred who eyelids were drooping. 

"We should get him to his bed" Gilbert said causing Mathias to sigh worriedly as he started at the tired American. 

"It's lunch and he hasn't eaten at all" He muttered in concern causing Gilbert to nod sadly. 

"I know but there's not much we can do now" He said causing Mathias to nod. Lukas bit his lip worriedly, if he stayed here they'd see him but if he left he would loose his chance to speak with Mathias. He sighed before pushing the door open further to gain there attention. 

"Mathias can we talk" He said confidently, not letting them see all of his insecurities that he had about talking to the Dane. Gilbert and Mathias shared a look before Mathias sighed and nodded towards him. Gilbert picked Alfred up and sent Mathias one more look before heading for the door. 

As he passed Lukas he paused briefly and gave him a very stern look before muttering something under his breath so that only the Norwegian would hear him. 

"You better not hurt him anymore then you already have or you will regret it" 

With that threat said he left them room with Alfred leaving him alone with Mathias who was still sitting on the ground. Lukas took a deep breath before approaching the apprehensive Dane, this was going to be a very long talk.