Look At Me (Solangelo)

Chapter III

(A/N) This book has been getting a lethal amount of reads. Wow... thanks!

Also, ONE OF THE GREATEST WRITERS ALIVE TOLD ME THEY GOT AN IDEA FROM THIS BOOK SO IM EXCITED ABOUT WHAT THEYLL MAKE SJFHSJW

As soon as I woke up, I hurried into the bathroom to get ready. My back was aching, so I didn't "hurry" very hurriedly.

I brushed my teeth, not bothering to take a full two minutes because fuck the rules. I washed my face with a towel, which took even less time. Then, I groaned as I took my binder into my hands, fixing the clips on the side of it.

This was going to be uncomfortable. Extremely uncomfortable. Especially considering the fact that it's old and the white has more of a yellow-ish tint to it.

It slipped over my head. That was the easy part done. I stuck one arm through, grunting as I struggled to get the second one through and pulled it down. Eventually, I'd have to fix it to avoid awkward fat blobs near my armpits.

Today, my aesthetic was going to be black. So, I had gathered black jeans, black skull shirt, and some snazzy black sneakers.

After checking if I was flat at every angle, I darted to grab my bookbag. Maybe, just maybe, if I'm able to sneak out of the house, my mom won't come to school this year. She won't introduce me as Nicole.

And there won't be the awkward tension between us. I cringed at the memory of the night I intruded her little... "time".

Unfortunately, my mom has eyes like a hawk and ears like a panther. (Unless she's drunk, that is.)

"Nicole!" She called. "Give me a minute and I'll dive you!"

"Can I take the bus?" I complained. "It helps me think." And Will rides the bus, I added silently.

My mom huffed. "You seem to really like this Will fellow."

"Yeah," I said, hiking my bookbag on my back. "He's my best friend. People tend to really like their friends."

"Okay sure," she said. I better prepare myself to be bugged about this for the next mellinia.

--

The bus came five minutes late. As always. I mean, seriously. If the bus is gonna arrive late, they should include that in the schedule!

But, as soon as it arrived, I immediately spotted Will grinning stupidly. I plopped down next to him, also grinning stupidly.

"Hey, Nico the Freako."

"What the fuck, Will?" He was an idiot sometimes.

"Nice to see you, too!" Will chirped. We talked for a few minutes, laughing and enjoying finally seeing each other again. The summer had been very long for both of us.

"So, how's the mom?" Will tried for a smile.

I made a groaning sound that sounded closer to a dying raptor. "Not good."

"Still struggling with the pronouns?"

"Still too afraid to tell her."

"Drinking problem?"

"Getting worst."

"Dad?"

"No contact."

"Wrists?" I pulled up my sleeve to reveal slightly red marks on my wrist. They had already healed a great amount, despite being put there three days ago.

"You poor boy," he cooed, gently stroking the scars. Will is the only person I'd ever trust this much. He's the only person who knows me; not Nicole, not Nico The Depressed, Emo, Annoying, Attention Seeking Thing.

"It's fine," I said once he let go of my arm. I wanted him to keep stroking the scars -- it made me feel better.

"It's not fine!" He complained as the bus stopped to pick up more kids. "It'll never be fine until you stop! ... And your mom gets to know you as Nico."

The bus started rolling again. I looked pass Will and out the window. I felt a had set atop my head. "Hey. I'm always here. You should call me."

"I don't have your-" I started to say, but Will handed me a slip of paper.

"Now you do." I smiled, wrapping my arms around him. Sure, most bros don't hug. But Will was a hugger and I was a hugger. We weren't willing to give up hugs just to be considered "though". Everyone already knew we could take a beating. Hugging just shows we still want softness in the world.

And we just sat there, wrapped in the hug.

Will was great. He was a soft gumball. I never wanted anyone to change him.