Music and Lyrics (one-shots)

#33 So Much In Love by Zia Quizon

Love doesn't come to you every minute

If you hold back, someone else will win it

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I just got another text message from Rochelle. Tinatanong kung nasaan na raw ako. I replied that I was already on my way to the restaurant kahit ang totoo, nakaupo pa rin ako sa gilid ng kama ko hanggang ngayon, nagdadalawang-isip.

I've successfully avoided all the past get togethers. Nalusutan ko lahat kahit ang lame ng excuses ko. But this time, I can't not go. Jec is looking for me.

Lahat ng kabarkada namin, alam na siya ang dahilan kung bakit hindi ako nakikipagkita sa kanila kapag kumpleto sila. Kasi kasama sya. Kasi nandoon sya. 

It was already five years since we graduated college. May kanya-kanya na kaming trabaho. Ang iba sa amin, may mga asawa na. Karamihan, in a relationship. I was in a relationship a few weeks ago. One year din ang itinagal namin si Roy. That was my excuse before. Naipakilala ko si Roy sa mga kabarkada ko, pero hindi kay Jec. Kapag nagyayaya si Jec, sinasabi ko sa kanya na busy ako kay Roy. I made Roy my priority. Kaya nagtampo si Jec at tumigil sa pag-aaya. But now that I'm single again...

I sighed. Aasa na naman ba ako?

Jec and I... we had a special kind of relationship. I was his special someone back in college, but he never courted me. We never dated. We were never together. And no, I wasn't his best friend. Si Gio ang best friend nya. 

But we had a special bond. Ginawa na namin halos lahat ng ginagawa ng mag-boyfriend at girlfriend. He kissed my nose, cheeks, and forehead, but not my lips. He held my hand so many times I could make a mold of his hand out of memory. Nakatulog na kaming magkayakap, ilang beses na rin. His parents call me anak, until now. His mom loves me and considers me her daughter-in-law, until now. 

Jec was always asked back then kung ano raw ba kami. Ano raw ba ako sa kanya? Kasi parang kami na, e. Wala lang talagang label. 

He always answered that I was his someone special.

I knew the literal meaning of the phrase, so I took it by heart and hoped that one day, he will tell me that he loves me too. That never happened.

He's had several girlfriends in college, all of which didn't last because of me. They were jealous of me. Kasi kahit sa date nila, kasama ako. Kasi kapag nagkataong may kailangan ang girlfriend nya at kailangan ko rin sya, ako ang pinipili nya. Kasi kapag pinapipili sya, walang patumpik-tumpik nya akong pinipili.

I was so sure back then that we will get married someday. That could still happen, pero nakakasawa nang umasa.

Simangot kong tiningnan ang phone ko nang tumunog ito. Jec is calling... I let it ring for several times before finally picking up.

"Nasa bahay ka pa?" tanong nya.

"Oo."

"Sabi na nga ba. Sunduin kita?"

"'Wag na. Paalis na rin naman ako."

"Don't bail on me this time, Zia."