Body Language. Queen

Ultimate Revenge.

Roger's P.O.V.

"Okay, night Patrick." I giggled at him as he playfully slapped my arse and waved me off.

I felt no guilt. I was doing nothing wrong. John had painted Patrick in a very bad light, probably to put me off him so I wouldn't go after him and try and fuck him too, just like John was trying to do.

I can't believe John would say such awful things about him. He was a nice guy, genuine, too. No way in hell would he be capable of being viscous and cruel to anybody, especially not John.

He was certainly full of some kind of bullshit.

Patrick seemed like the kind of guy that had it hard earlier in life, somebody who was determined to turn his life around...and I saw potential in the guy, so gave him the opportunity to have a job as my PA. Firstly because I did actually want to get to know him, and secondly, I wanted to get my own back on John, hire Patrick so that John would sit and squirm whenever Patrick was in close proximity of him, I wanted to make him jealous that Patrick was my PA working for me...not him. That I was closer to him and John wasn't.

Of course I still wanted to make up with Deaky, I loved him, he was my boyfriend. But I was very disappointed in him. No wonder he couldn't tell me the truth, no wonder he told me Patrick was abusive towards him a few years ago, why would you want to tell your partner you have a desire to fuck somebody else. But then again, he's done it before, hasn't he. He's told me he would fuck Freddie so why is this any different? I'm obviously not enough for him and he still fantasises about other people.

But I'll sort things out with him in the morning, I'm sure he'll come around to the idea of Patrick working with me now and being on tour with us, after all, if John wants to bed him that bad he won't mind him being around all the time.

This was dangerous. I know. But something inside of me was willing me to go on. To carry on with Patrick and almost certainly jeopardise my relationship with John. In my head I knew it was a bad idea...but I just couldn't stop. I needed revenge. Ultimate revenge.

Walking back up to our floor of the hotel I felt mixed feeling about seeing Deaky, I knew for a fact things would be awkward, he'd either blank me completely or try to beg for my forgiveness which I wasn't going to give him yet. I just wanted to enter that room and him to be already in bed and asleep so I didn't have to face or talk to him. But then again, I hated the thought of going into our room and the atmosphere still being sour, I wanted everything to be good again. Things had been going so wonderful between the two of us. And then Patrick showed up. Which in a sense should make me blame him for me and Deaky falling out. So why was I taking Patrick's side and blaming John instead? I knew I should be getting rid of Patrick. I knew it. But I couldn't. He seemed like a good guy to me, I just don't know how John could even come up with such a story.

John said to me it happened when we were touring with another band across the USA as their support group a few years back, so if it was happening while me, Fred and Brian were there too, surely we would have seen Patrick before now, even just the once. If they were apparently dating back then and Patrick was being as awful and controlling as Deaky said, why the fuck wouldn't he say anything to us? Surely you would, right? To seek help and make us keep him away?

My head was in knots but I knew I didn't want to change anything for now. Patrick was going to tour with us and work for me no matter what anyone thought.

And Freddie can fuck right off. I know he's taken Johns side and believes his ridiculous story. Well I don't care what he thinks. He needs to butt out.
Thinking he can control my decisions and all, well surprise, Mercury, I am capable of making my own choices, thank you very much. Besides, I was over Freddie. Over not spending enough time with him, over him giving Brian more attention than me, he can please himself, I don't give a fuck.