Voltron LD texting

Pidge- Q and A

Question from: PidegionLord

Shiro: Um . . . So Pidge, do you?

Pidge: OH DO I? I'VE GOT THE JUICY SECRETS ON EVERYONE! Like, I know that Allura has to take pills every now and then every time Lance annoys her and that Coran likes to style his mustache like Markiplier's warfstache and then twist it.

Allura: Well, what do you expect? I have to keep living somehow without dying because of stress.

Pidge: Tru, tru.

Pidge: Coran? Do you have anything to say?

Coran: Well, it's the solid truth, so why would I lie to keep it hidden? I'm quite proud of my styling skills~

Pidge: Fair enough.

Shiro: You didn't happen to find anything embarrassing about me... did you?

Pidge: Shiro. You have a box full of make-up under your bed.

Shiro: N-no I don't.... *sweats nervously*

Pidge: You put on your eyeliner every morning at 6.

Shiro: How...

Pidge: I may or may not have placed CCTV cameras in every room of the castle...

Allura, Coran, and Shiro: .....

Pidge: FOR SECURITY REASONS. OH MY GOD.

Allura, Coran, and Shiro: Oh okay.... Whew...

Allura: Do you have any secrets up on the boys of Voltron besides Shiro?

Pidge: Yes, yes, and no. I only have footage of Hunk eating and creating new dishes in the kitchen, and him trying to confess his feelings to Shay every now and then. It's so cute, I have to send it to you sometime.

Allura: Then.. what about for Keith and Lance?

Pidge: Oh them~? Well, for starters, I have footage of Lance singing Beyonce, Hannah Montana, some anime theme songs??? Oh, and I also have footage of him trying to flirt with a photo of Keith he has on his phone. Oh, like this one.

VIDEO

"H-hey, K-Keith.... How are you doing? Fine? Well, those eyes are beautiful, but they would better on my bedroom floor~ WAIT. THAT SOUNDS SO WRONG... Um.... Lemme try that again. Ahem.... Hey, Keith. That's a sweet ass, but it would better on my bedroom floor...? NO, NO, NO!! That sounds like I'm a serial killer or something!! Okay, third times the charm! Hey Kogane! You, uh, have some pretty tight clothes on ya. Want me to help you loosen up in them, and maybe even let them onto my bedroom floor? .... Please?"

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Allura: Oh my lord, that boy needs help.

Pidge: A lot of help...

Allura: Well... what about Keith?

Pidge: I've got him contemplating life, death, him watching anime, watching youtube videos, sharpening his blade, oh and him cussing out pictures of Lance for some reason?

Allura: What?

Pidge: Yeah, he was just throwing his blade at a picture of Lance and cussing it out.

VIDEO

"Keith, you're a MOTHER FUCKING IDIOT. WHAT THE HELL. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST FREAKING TELL HIM? HUH?! I MEAN, WHY CAN'T YOU GO UP TO HIS SHIT EATING FACE AND TELL HIM YOU LIKE HIM AND WANT TO BE MORE THAN FRIENDS?! WHY? I'LL TELL YOU WHY, KOAGNE! 'CAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING PUSSY, THAT'S WHY!" exclaimed Keith as he continuously throwing his blade at a picture of Lance that was hung up on his wall.

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Allura: How did we not hear that....?

Pidge: It was at night most likely.

Allura: I see.... Oh, Pidge.

Pidge: Yes, Princess?

Allura: What does 'fuck' mean? Is that some sort of Earth slang?

Pidge: Um... it's the earth equivalent to 'quiznak'.

Allura: .... Quiznak.

Pidge: So, basically, yes. I have everyone's personal info and more to blackmail them.