What are twins for? (Book 1) (Mortal Instruments)

The Memory Of Whiteness

I can tell how much it pains Clary to hear this, but she's the one who wanted to know. If she wasn't ready to find all of this out then she shouldn't have come asking Magnus about it. Magnus' eyes flick to me with a slightly raised eyebrow telling me he's confused. He wants to know why I didn't tell her and I give a sarcastic smile in answer. He huffs out before looking back at Clary to answer her.

Magnus paces restlessly to the window. "I don't think you understand. The first time I ever saw you and your sister, you must have been about two years old and Jade was about four. I was watching out this window"—he taps the glass, freeing a shower of dust and paint chips—"and I saw her hurrying up the street, holding something in a blanker with Jade walking not far behind. I was surprised when she stopped at my door. She looked so ordinary, so young."

The moonlight touches his hawkish profile with silver. "She unwrapped the blanket when she came in my door. You were inside it. She set you down on the floor and you started ranging around, picking things up, pulling my cat's tail—you screamed like a banshee when the cat scratched you, so I asked your mother if you were part banshee. She didn't laugh or introduce your sister." He pauses. The others are all watching him intently now, even Alec. "She told me she was a Shadowhunter. There was no point in her lying about it; Covenant Marks show up, even when they're faded with time, like faint silver scars across the skin. They flickered when she moved." He rubs at the glitter makeup around his eyes causing me to worry. "She told me she'd hoped you'd been born with a blind Inner Eye—some Shadowhunters have to be taught to see the Shadow World. But she'd caught you that afternoon, teasing a pixie trapped in a hedge. She knew you could see. So she asked me if it was possible to blind you of the Sight."

Clary makes a pained gasp as Alec and Jace look to you. The both raise their eyebrows at you and you look away from them. The less they knew of your involvement the better.

"I told her that crippling that part of your mind might leave you damaged, possibly insane. She didn't cry. She wasn't the sort of woman who weeps easily, your mother. She asked me if there was another way, and I told her you could be made to forget those parts of the Shadow World that you could see, even as you saw them. The only caveat was that she'd have to come to me every two years as the results of the spell began to fade."

"And did she?" asks Clary.

Magnus nods. "I've seen you every two years since that first time—I've watched you grow up. You're the only child I have ever watched grow up that way, you know. In my business one isn't generally that welcome around children."

Clary looks at me and I see the anger in her gaze because she's figured out I've known all along. I look away from the anger in her gaze because I'm tired of seeing it lately. All she ever looks at me with is confusion and anger which causes a pang in my heart.

"I didn't damage you." It is Magnus' turn to interrupt, his lips curled back angrily to show sharp white teeth causing me to walk over to him. "Every teenager in the world feels like that, feels broken or out of place, different somehow, royalty mistakenly born into a family of peasants. The difference in you case is that it's true. You are different. Maybe not better, but different. And it's no picnic being different. You want to know what it's like when your parents are good churchgoing folk and you happen to be born with the devil's mark?" He points at his eyes, fingers splayed until I pull his hand down. "When your father flinches at the sight of you and your mother hangs herself in the barn, driven mad by what she's done? When I was ten, my father tried to drown me in the creek. I lashed out at him with everything I had—burned him where he stood. I went to the fathers of the church eventually, for sanctuary. They hid me. They say that pity's a bitter thing, but it's better than hate. When I found out what I was really, only half a human being. I hated myself. Anything's better than that."

I whirl on Clary before slamming out of the room knowing that if I were to stay there's no telling what will happen. I make it back to the bar and finish a drink when I see Simon drinking a blue drink. I try to slap it out of his hand, but fail as he downs the last of it. He immediately turns into a rat and scurries under the bar. I heave a sigh as a familiar hiccup enters my ear.

"Oh god they're going to kill me. He turned himself into a rat and they're going to blame me."

"No, they won't Izzy. Just go tell them what happened and I'll be there if they don't believe you."

She nods and I help her find the others who have come out of Magnus' room. I watch Magnus walk through the crowd before turning to the conversation at hand. I can tell Clary is angry and Jace doesn't really care right now. Alec is looking around the room almost like he doesn't want to be there at this precise moment. That's when I realise how tightly Clary is holding on to Izzy's wrist causing me to step closer to Izzy if need be.

"I didn't leave him. He ran under the bar," Isabelle protests, pointing. "Let go! You're denting my bracelet."

"Bitch," Clary says savagely, and flings a surprised-looking Isabelle's hand back at her, hard.

"Izzy are you okay?" I ask putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Fine. It's not like I care anyways." She says a bit petulantly.

I roll my eyes before grabbing a drink glaring at all of them. I walk away and to the room that Magnus created for me when I stayed here. At one point I was staying here for months on end on his couch and he grew tired of seeing me on his couch. He made a room for me so that when I stayed here I wouldn't have to sleep on the couch. Magnus became the parent I needed and could come to if I ever had something on my mind to speak about. I lock the door behind me and slowly sip on the drink I grabbed. Once I finish the drink I set the cup down on the end table before taking my makeup off at the vanity. Afterwards I lie on my bed staring at the ceiling as tears prick my eyes.

I've always been so careful about who I get close to, but I disregarded that when I found fellow Shadowhunters. Now I'm reconsidering getting involved with them at all with how I'm being treated now. Ever since they found out who my father was they've been distant from me and Clary's pulled away from me as well. I feel as if I'm losing everyone and it's slowly driving me crazy.

A soft knock comes at the door, so I get out of bed and unlock the door barely opening it. I see Magnus standing there and open the door wide to allow him to come in. I can't hear any music so he must have kicked everyone out. I'm not entirely surprised considering how the night has gone for the both of us. I'm distracted though by the sight of Chairman Meow in his arms. He hands me Chairman knowing it will calm me down after everything that has happened lately. I sit on my bed holding the cat close to me as Magnus lounges at the end of the bed.

"You'll never guess who came back after I kicked everyone out."

"My sister and Jace? Where are they headed because they are going to run into trouble."

"They're going to the Hotel Dumont. I figure if you're there Raphael won't kill them."

"Jesus of course they fucking are. I'm guessing the vamps took Simon thinking he was one of them."

"Right you are. You should catch up to them soon."

I sigh before placing Chairman down and running out of the apartment to catch up to Jace and Clary. Magnus is right about them getting killed if they enter the Coven. Raphael doesn't like trespassers and won't hesitate to kill them. Once again, I'm off to save them because they're rushing into a fight headfirst without thinking.

*A/N: I'm dedicating this chapter to ArizonaTea1187 because no matter what they never fail to read and vote for this story as soon as it's out. Thank you so much!*