Colouring Book || Harry Styles

Eleven

Eleven

I lay on my bed staring up at the dark ceiling unable to fall asleep. It was almost three in the morning and I had been trying to sleep for three hours now. But sleep was not an option. My brain kept replaying the kiss I had with Harry, over and over again.

That kiss was amazing—more than amazing, actually. It felt absolutely perfect. The way my heart fluttered in my chest, the way our lips touched and moulded together so tenderly and in sync, the way Harry held my face with his hands, the proximity of our bodies.

My heart started to pump harder in my chest just thinking about it. And the butterflies were still in my stomach, fluttering around and bumping against the walls of my stomach. My whole body was heated up. I was still able to feel Harry's lips moving against my own. I raised my hand to my face, my index finger resting on the middle of my lips, the ends of my mouth curving up in a smile. That kiss was perfect. And there was something definitely there—for me at least.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, just wanting to get some rest. I continued deep breathing and tried to let my mind shut off.

But after ten minutes I gave up. My brain was way too active.

So I sighed and opened my eyes, staring at nothing as I just let those thoughts float around. It was probably a bad idea though because they always somehow lead to doubts and uncertainty.

And so for the rest of the night, I was thinking of all the reason why Harry would kiss me? Why me out of all people? I looked nothing like the other girls he dated. I don't have a flat stomach like them. I don't have slender, long legs like them. I don't have a thigh gap like them. I am not pretty like them. I have blemishes all over my face, I have a double chin, I have a nose that I think is a bit too big to be flattering, I don't have strong cheekbones or jawline.

So why me?

Worse of all, what if Harry ended up regretting the kiss? What if he thought I was horrible kisser? What if he regretted it? What if he tells me that it was just a spur of a moment type of kiss and it meant nothing to him? 

That would be so embarrassing. 

That was my worst nightmare.

Then it would be so awkward after that.

I honestly felt like crying as I thought that.

Time went by so slowly. I was physically and mentally exhausted yet I still couldn't get myself to sleep. I watched as the sunlight slowly brightened up my room and eventually heard my phone ring from Harry FaceTiming me.

I shot up from my bed with a panic. I didn't know what to do. I was nervous to talk to Harry because I was scared all my doubts would become reality. It really didn't help that we didn't talk about what the kiss meant last night.

I ended up missing the call.

The call turned into a notification on my lock screen, saying that I missed a FaceTime video call from Harry.

But then he called again.

I turned my phone on silent and ignored the call once more.

I quickly went into my washroom and splashed cold water on my face. I emptied my bladder, washed my hands, washed my face, and brushed my teeth. When I came out and checked my phone, I saw that he sent me two texts.

Harry: Good morning, T xx.

Harry: Why didn't you answer my calls? Is everything alright? xx.

I felt guilty. I still didn't know what to do but I decided to answer Harry later. 

I did my bed and grabbed my phone before I went down the stairs. Mum and Alex had already left so I fed the cats, changed their water, and cleaned their litter box before washing my hands in the washroom. I boiled some water in the kettle and made some tea. I also poured some cereal and milk in a bowl to have for breakfast. I sat at the table, eating my cereal and drinking my tea slowly. My mind wouldn't stop whirling with thoughts.