Wake Up, Get Paid, Get Laid, Gatorade

Do You Know What I'm Seeing?

Today I saved a fifteen year old boy's life and because of it I might lose my own.

He was wearing a twenty one pilots shirt, even if he wasn't, I still don't regret it.

Today was what the priest called "stimulus therapy."

The first thing they did was show us pictures of "attractive" guys and show the boys "attractive" girls, then they had us write an essay about what features we liked about them.

I quite promptly wrote "I am not in any way sexually attracted to Justin Beiber, nor will I ever be sexually attracted to the opposite gender."

That was probably a mistake.

What they did next is they got a bunch of church girls and boys to dress in the sluttiest outfit possible (shorts that showed their panties and shirts that barely were a cloth) and just have a conversation with them.

The boy next to me who liked twenty one pilots was named Ethan, he had very lovely brown hair and his favorite song on Blurryface was Hometown.

He was terrified, and so was I.

I patted his back and said "Whatever happens, stay alive."

He told me the same.

What happened next is one of the most utterly disgusting things I have ever seen in my entire life.

I walk by the room where the boys were (they separate genders) and see two of the girls grinding on him while he tried to run away.

So what do I do?

I run into the room and punch that girl right in her pretty little makeup caked face.

The other girl hit me back and I yelled "run!"

Ethan did run, and I'm very glad he did.

The priest heard this though, found me, and gave me an extra all day session tomorrow.

Then I was dismissed.

I ran outside to find Ethan and he was sobbing on the steps.

I'm glad I was there, but I can't stop thinking about it.

That's what they're going to do to me tomorrow.

I hugged him and he was shaking all over. He was just sobbing and thanking me and he was so thankful.

I have his phone number and he is now my friend.

If I hadn't done that, Ethan could have been dead right now.

I did that, and that's all I need to know to know that I'm stronger than this bullshit "therapy."

I'm scared, really really scared, but there's something I wanna tell you.

Tyler says there's no emotion stronger than fear, and for a while I thought there was no emotion stronger than depression, but I found something.

When I was born my dad gave me something that I wouldn't be alive without.

A reminder if you will.

On my birth certificate after Katrina is a word that is more powerful than anything I have ever known.

H-O-P-E.

And maybe I'm already destined for death, rape, suicide, or some other horrible fate, but guess what I've got?

Hope, hope from my real family and my little kitten and the bands that gave me will to live another day when I didn't have any.

It's a gift from so many people, and one I have to a helpless fifteen year old boy today.

So, here you are.

I'm giving you some of my hope, but here's the most important thing.

Never keep it all, give some to someone else.

For you and especially my little kitten who I'm going to hold again tonight, I give you some hope.

Enjoy.

For everyone, especially my darling little kitten who today scared me by saying she would kill herself if something happened to me:

Stay alive, for me.