Dan and Phil Imagines

The Morning After

This was the first party you'd been to in years. Last time you attended one of these things you were eight years old and the main attraction was playing 'Pass the Parcel'. This was a whole new ball game for you. No lemonade was on offer this time, only alcohol. You didn't know everyone in the room now, you knew two people, one of whom had completely disappeared into the crowd. No one was doing the 'Cha Cha Slide', the most popular dance move seemed to be call the 'grab-a-random-person-and-grind-on-them', or that's how it felt.

Phil nudges your arm to get your attention. You two are stood together in the corner of the room with a beer each. "Can you see him? It's been three hours since we got here, and we haven't seen him in two and a half. I hate to think what he's doing."

'He' is Dan Howell, your other best friend. "No, not since he stood on the table singing 'Toxic'." you remark, still looking around for him. Like Phil, you're worried about Dan. He's notorious for going overboard on these nights out; you don't fully understand why any of you agreed to come tonight, actually, not when you could be at home on tumblr or something. Then again, it was only one party. 'How bad could it be?', you'd thought to yourself as you got ready earlier that evening. You remembered why you didn't go out the second you walked through the door.

"There! Come on, he looks like he's in a right state." Phil drags you through the crowds towards Dan, who is swaying clumsily with an empty glass, singing (or rather wailing) along to 'Thrift Shop'. Yup, as you expected, he's absolutely hammered.

"GUYS! Where've you been? I was all alone, but then I found my good friend Graham over here!" Dan slurs, gesturing to a man standing next to him, who looks like he'd rather be anywhere else.

"My name's Harry." the guy walks off, leaving Dan shouting after him.

"Okay, Graham, I'll see you on the flip side!" he yells, attempting to do a pose like a rapper. As he leans back, he stumbles into a beefy man who turns around in annoyance. "Whoops, sorry! Well hello there, what's your name?" Dan addresses a pretty brunette who just rolls her eyes at him.

"Oi, mate, what do you think you're doing trying to chat up my girlfriend?" the beefy man snarls.

"I am very sorry, Mr. Popeye, I did not mean to steal the fair Olive Oyl away from you." garbles Dan, trying to bow ostentatiously.

"Sorry about him, he's drunk..." you apologise, taking one of Dan's arms while Phil takes the other, before the big guy can swing for your friend. "Dan, we're going home. Now."

"Ohh but whyyy?" whines Dan, making his limbs heavy so you are forced to drag him.

"Because if you upset anyone else we may be unable to defend you." Phil answers him firmly. You both start dragging him towards the exit

"Guys the party's only just starting, we have the whole night ahead of us, let's just live a little!" protests Dan. He must be drunk, he starts singing 'Live While We're Young'.

"You can't live at all if you get murdered for hitting on someone else's girlfriend." you snap as you and Phil haul a pouting Dan into a cab.

All the way home he complains. Eventually you're forced to ignore him; this spurs him on even more.

"Y/N, why did you make us leave? Is it cos all of the men were ignoring you? It isn't their fault you look fat in that dress!"

"Dan, sweetie, you are very drunk. Your judgememt is impaired. You're a danger to yourself and others. You need to sleep this off. And, most importantly, you're gonna regret that fat joke in the morning." you finish menacingly.

This shuts him up, save the irritating, incessant whining sounds.

Finally you get home. Dan has quietened down, thank goodness, but is still protesting. While you and Phil try to move him he drags his feet along the floor. And of course the lift would be out of order, so you have to get him up the stairs. All of the stairs. Every step takes at least ten seconds to drag him up.