Music-http://youtu.be/08w0LQUIZ9E (sweet dreams Marilyn Manson)
Ivan's POV
Non existent.
That was the only thing to describe my so called "life" at the moment.
I had either lost or was on the verge of loosing everything that held some kind of relevance and meaning in my life.
I was loosing my capability to lead my men, I was loosing my self control, my sanity was hanging on by a fucking thread and to make things worse my dominance over my powers was near to nothing.
None of that even mattered to me, it was all a matter of time before all of that bullshit would slither out of grasp, there was only one thing on my mind.
Fuck I wanted her..... I craved her, the slightest thought of her was enough to make me weak to my knees. I yearn to kiss her lips once more, to touch her skin, to seen her face.
But it was too late, I managed to fuck it up. Now I have to pay the price.
I'm no soppy bullocks but seeing her like that and watching her cry hurt like hell. But my god nothing will ever come close to how painful it was when she rejected me.
That was the first time in my life that I had ever felt....sad.
Loneliness was something I was very familiar with but when she walked away that day I had genuinely felt empty.... Would I ever admit those things? Ha! Over my dead body, my pride was way too big for that, but it didn't stop me from feeling this way.
My constant dwelling and daily self pitying had become awfully bitter and vexatious, yet I had to constantly remind musket there was no weakness to be shown outside of this room.
The moment I let my guard down trouble will somehow find its way to the surface.
Nearing footsteps from across the mansion could be heard a knocking reality back into me, Colt and the others would be here shortly, so I had to get my shit together.
Slipping on my expensive black blazer I remove myself from the room in supernatural speed making sure leave any unwanted shit behind.
I appeared in front of the boys in seconds, some squirmed at the sight of me and others bowed there heads out of respect.
Ever since my last encounter with Rogue, no one even dared to mention her name and to be honest I was glad. With my powers all over the place i had no idea how I would react, certain sounds and smells had began to made me gutter or lash out, so I was almost certain that a bad word spoken about my mate would result in bloodshed.
BLOOD!
Shit. I hadn't fed properly in a long time, i was getting stronger by the second but I know that even a drop of that copper scented liquid would send me over the edge, I would be in full demon mode and there would be nothing to stop me... I couldn't risk it too many people would get hurt and the last thing I need is any shit from the elders or any other royals
"Ivan? " Colt sheepishly asked causing me to snap out of my thoughts.
"What!" I snap back
All most instantly the huddle off vampires took a step back, I could see in their eyes that they were prepared to defend themselves.
Ha! They wouldn't stand a fucking chance, I'd spill their blood on the walls without even moving from this spot. It bothered me that my men felt as if they couldn't be around me without having to prepare themselves to be torn to shreds but it didn't aggrevate me as much as their cowardliness did. Look at them the strongest vampires out of the royal blood line hiding behind each other like a bunch of pussys.
"I suggest you all grow a pair or get the fuck out of my sight....go on straighten up! I'm not going to kill you" I spit out
There was no need to barge past them as they had already made a perfect split down the middle.
"Ivan, three of our men didn't come back last night from their patrol over at club RED...."
"Well let's go get them" i instructed
"Where are you two going?"
The familiar voices had instantly caused me to roll my eyes out of annoyance. Both Nicole and Tasha had managed to get under my skin, they made it their mission to constantly taunt me about Rogues where abouts.
Since she rejected me I had been unable to sense or smell her, neither could anyone she had this shield protecting her and it was starting to piss me off.
I had trackers and warriors out looking for her but it was like she vanished.
"Colt, Where are you going?" The little rat asked
"Business"
"Can we come?" Tasha questioned after she finished eating Lincoln's face.
"No you can't, we won't be long"
They both looked over me and tried their hardest to pull the most fearsome face possible. It almost brought me happiness to see the girl in their faces whenever I flashed my fangs at them.
"Hello Ivan"
"Fuck off Tasha" I blankly respond
"Excuse me! Who do you think you are talking to?!" She questions angrily
"Yeah you better watch it!" Nicole contributed
"Or what?" I taunt stepping closer towards her.
"Its not our fault Rogue left you, it was yours and I can see-"
I hadn't even let the little bitch finish her sentence as I had her pinned between the wall and my body.
The intoxicating demonic substance swayed into my bloodstream, it was getting harder and harder to control.
Her unrhythmic heartbeat was manipulating my head, the sound of her blood flowing through her veins had lured my fangs to withdraw.
The power inside me was so great I could hear it taking over my brain
Squeezing my eyes shut I attempted to calm myself down.
"Colt" Nicole whimpered as she tried to squirm from my gaze.
My head flicked up, the innocence and fear in her voice had somewhat resembled Rogues.
Looking to the side at my reflection I had failed to take control. The familiar putrid black orbs consumed my entire eye. Both sets of fangs had extended.
"Ivan"
The despair and fear in Colts voice had hit a nerve, I don't want to hurt him and I certainly don't to hurt his mate.
"Please don't hurt her Ivan" Colt begged once again.
I desperately tried to stop myself but it was near to impossible. I could feel my mouth uncontrollably open, my fangs neared Nicole's exposed neck.
