"What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though"- The Catcher In The Rye
"I'm not psycho. I just like psychotic things." - Gerard Way
Bonjour, and thanks for stopping by! Call me Aardvark French. I'm happy to chat about any of the following: French Horns, books, writing, swimming, My Chemical Romance, iDKHOW, emo bands/music in general, French Horns, movies, or tea. Have I mentioned the French Horns?
Generally, my newer works are better than my older ones. I'd recommend reading those first. I write both fanfiction and original works across all genres, so hopefully you'll find something you like!
Collab: @WaterLanding
AO3: aardvark_french
Twitter: aardvark_french
*Jedi mind trick powers on* You want to go read, vote, and comment on all of my stories now...
- Hogwarts
- JoinedJuly 9, 2013
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I realize I've been a little absent from Wattpad lately, but I do post semi-regularly on AO3. Most of it's cracky inside-joke fics or revisions of fics that are already here, but I do have a Squid Ga...View all Conversations
Stories by epichorn31
- 35 Published Stories

Death and Transfiguration
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130
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The year is 1895, and famed composer Johann Bergmann is dead, leaving Matilda Brackenborough, a young English...

Tomorrow, We'll Do It Again
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27
6
Five times Drowning Lessons was cursed (and one time it wasn't).
Cover by @lunaetic-
+7 more

Calibrations: Extras
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Oneshots and alternate endings from the Calibrations universe.
Feel free to leave requests! I'll try to do a...
+4 more