I'm the girl that who can watch tons of horror movies and not get scared but will scream at the top of my lungs when the toast pops out of the toaster. 

Best friends are people who will kill each other over a bag of chips and not say sorry but...HaHa, too bad loser!! 

I'm the type of girl that will burst out at laughing over something that happened... yesterday.

I didn't fall, I was testing gravity... it still works. 

It's funny when I'm loud and people tell me to be quiet. But when I'm quiet, people ask whats wrong with me.

I'm not clumsy. Its just the floors hate me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the walls are in the way...

"Username or password incorrect." Well, would you tell me which one it is?

If you don't want a sarcastic answer, don't ask a stupid question.

I set me alarm early so that I can lie in bed and be sad about having to get up.

I followed my heart and it led me into the fridge.

I'm naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Someone: are you crying?
Me: I'm having an allergic reaction.
Someone: to what?
Me: life

"Types in password"
'Incorrect password'
"Types in password again"
'Incorrect password'
ARE YOU SERIOUS THAT IS MY... oh... Caps lock.

*walks into kitchen at 2am* "okay I need to be quiet" TRIPS OVER CHAIR, BREAKS LEG, CATCHES HOUSE ON FIRE.

Admit it, you've tried to balance the light switch right in the middle at least once in your life.

SCHOOL: 2+2=4
HOMEWORK: 2+4+2=8
EXAM: Omar has 4 apples, his train is 7 minutes early, calculate the mass of the sun.

I wish I had a cute laugh or one of those laughs that makes other people laugh but I sound like a hyperventilating walrus with asthma.

Home is where the water doesn't taste weird.

Teacher: Where the hell is your homework?
Me: It committed suicide. It had too many problems.

Everyday is leg day when you're running away from your problems.

I'm so bored of being bored because being bored is really boring.

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