Omelette Master

Remember guys, if you need to know the meaning of 'loquacious', 'onus', 'scarious', 'schizothemia', or anything obscure, I'm your girl! Just can't spell to save my life. Or anyone else's for that matter.
*gets phone call*
"I have your family. If you want to save them, spell hosiery."
*pauses*
"Tell them I love them."

Yeah, I have no life.

SMNES!
Save My Non-Existent Soul!

Yeah, I love my life. It's
⊂_ヽ
　 ＼＼    ^  ^
　　 ＼(　•_•) F
　　　 <　⌒ヽ A
　　　/ 　 へ＼ B
　　 /　　/　＼＼ U
　　 ﾚ　ノ　　 ヽ_つ L
　　/　/ O
　 /　/| U
　(　(ヽ S
　|　|、＼.
　| 丿 ＼ ⌒)
　| |　　) /
ノ )　　Lﾉ__
(／___

Person: *says good insult*
Me: Yeah? Well, you're...face...is a...sandwich-dang it.

Are you a man, or a mouse?!
Sir, we've gone over this everyday, I'm a horse!
Sir, in case you forgot, I'm blind!
I'm sorry sir!
Apology not accepted sir, now drop and give me twenty, sir!
Sir, I am still a horse, sir, I can't do that!
Just break the laws of physics and biology, sir!
But sir! I have a wife and kids sir!
No, sir, you're going to die alone!

That's why you should never let me near a keyboard.

Yeah, I'll come, just give me a hot sec!

Deal with it.
      -Matsukitty