Kiss Me If You Can

Chapter 34

A/N Listen to the song as you read the beginning of the Chapter 

Delondon's P.O.V

I laid in my bed and I cried, as I had been doing every night. Beyonce's Heaven couldn't wait for you played at a decent volume through my speakers. Crying myself to sleep was nothing new, but this time it felt different. This time it was different. As I cried, I found myself drifting into a dream, I wasn't sleep but I was exactly awake either. I was alone in a big field. The grass was dead, and the sky was dark. I sat there looking ahead at what seemed like and endless sky. I could fill the tears flowing freely down my face. I let them. I didn't bother trying to wipe them. They fell as I looked straight ahead. The wind blew lightly brushing up against my skin. My heart was beating abnormally fast but still I couldn't move. I didn't blink. For a moment I thought maybe I had been paralyzed.

A sound was heard to my right, yet I did not move. I could here footsteps making there way towards me. Normally I would have looked up but again I did not move. I didn't even move when I heard the person sit down next to me. Starring ahead I hoped that the person wouldn't say anything either. Although we were surrounded by darkness it was peaceful to me. Sitting here allowing myself to cry it out without any interruptions. I wanted this, I needed this. The person said nothing and made no moves for 5 minutes. Then suddenly I felt a hand touch mine. My mind told to me to look down and finally see who it was, but my body would not allow me. The small hand had brought me comfort, my beating heart was no longer pounding trying to free itself from my chest, this furthered confusion, yet I still made no move.

"Mommy" a small voice said. My breathing slowed and the tears that once was flowing slowly picked up speed. I wanted more than anything to turn around and see the face that belonged to this angelic voice. "I know you're hurting, because I'm gone" the voice said. My mouth dropped opened.

"Laila" my voice finally spoke. I was confused at first because I didn't know it was me who said those words. The child giggled.

"It's me mommy". At the sounds of those word I finally turned to look at the child. My child. She looked like she was about four years of age. Milk chocolate skinned glowed even through the darkness. Reaching my hand out I touched her little face. The tears were now pouring out of my eyes as I touched her little face. "Mommy why are you always so sad" she said as she reached her little hands up and wiped away my tears.

"Mommy misses you, so much" I said as I looked at her. She stood up and sat in my lap. She rested her head on my shoulder.

"Sorry I make you sad mommy" her little voice said. I could feel my heart breaking. I pulled her away and looked her percious little face.

"No,no no, you don't make me sad, you make me happy, I just miss you that's all" I said looking at the little girl who I now held in my arms.

"How can you miss me, when I'm always in here" she said pointed at my heart. Her words caught me off guard, yet they calmed me. I simply just smiled at her and she smiled back. She reached in and gave me a hug. I held on to her tightly, afraid to let go. The tears were still coming fast but I felt this peace coming over me. She pulled away "I know you want to come where I am mommy, but you can't, so please don't do anything crazy. You will join me when it's time" she said looking me directly in my eyes. I nodded my yes in understanding. She leaned in and gave me another hug and a kiss on the check. "I love you mommy" she said as she stood up. I moved to my knees, wondering why she stood.

She looked at me and smiled. "I have to go back now mommy, and you have to go back as well" she said. She wrapped her arms around my head and pulled into her small frame. The tears had stopped, and she giggled. Pulling away she began to walk away. I starred ahead as she walked away. Finally standing up, I looked up at the sky. The darkness was fading away and the sun was peeking through. I looked back ahead and her little framed was moving further and further away. The grass was turning green. When I no longer could see her the sun was finally out and the grass was green. I starred ahead and I no longer saw her. My tears had stopped, my heart was beating normally. The peace that had started coming over me, could be felt through every once of my body. I felt light. A small smile crept it's way on to my face. I looked in the direction she had for a few more seconds before turning and walking in the opposite direction.