vent thing, you don't have to read this

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I call you my best friend, but you treat me like I'm stupid.
Every time I screw up all you can do is laugh.
You're sweet and kind and funny when we're alone but you ignore me at school.
Are you too cool for me?
Are your other friends better than I am?

•••

You're hurting, and I get that, but that's no reason to fight.
You're stubborn and you never take any of our advice.
It was never like this before, you were always super sweet.
But now you're picking fights with everyone.
You're one of my best friends but I'm worried that you've changed.
What happened?
Why can't we help?

•••

You guys pretend to care but I know you really don't.
I tell you about something I've made and everyone ignores it.
When I say that none of you take me seriously you apologize, but then it happens again.
Have you guys ever really cared?
Am I just a side role in your story?

•••

You're one of my best friends ever and you work so freaking hard.
I've never seen you give up on someone in need.
But in all honesty, you should take your own advice and relax.
Do you not understand what this stress is doing to you?
Are you lying to me about being okay?

•••

You're my sister and I love you but I wish you'd give me space.
You crawl on me and hit me and I never get a break.
Do you not care about my privacy?
Do you not realize that I'm tired and stressed?

•••

You raised me and you always say you love me.
But then you get mad at every small mistake I make.
Are you okay? You were never this irritable before.
Do you need my help?

•••

You're usually more laid back than Dad but lately that has changed.
Whenever something goes wrong you always blame me.
You compare me to my sister, she's your shining star.
You always listen to her whenever she talks about art.
But whenever I talk about BTS, you say they're all I care about.
That the only thing I do in my free time is watch their videos and listen to their music.
I told you I wanted to learn Korean and you made fun of me.
If you want me to do more with you in my free time, give me a reason to want to.
You get mad that I don't text my friends when they don't make an effort either.
You always call me lazy.
You told me you couldn't see how I would have value to anybody.
You said I make you miserable.
You claim that I don't love you.
Have you thought that maybe I don't have the words to express my feelings?
Do you even know what I'm going through?
You're quick to call me out but do you ever ask if somethings wrong? No, but I suppose I couldn't tell you anyway.

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