Chris: (Chris doesn't drink, so instead he's soooooooo tired that it seems as if he's drunk from lack of sleep)
"Babe? Why the fuck are there a bunch of emo ass leprechauns running around?" He grumbled into your stomach.
"Umm. Chris? That's Ricky and Vinny?"
"Oh. They're still shoort as fuuuucc...."
Ricky: (he doesn't drink either, but let's say he's high off of morphine after getting a tooth pulled)
"Yoooou'rrre sooo prettttttyyyyy. Yoour hair loookss like cotton candy." He giggles. You sigh.
"For the last time Ricky, pull on my hair once more and I'm going to shove my foot up your-- DAMNIT RICHARD!"
Ryan: *snuggles into your boobs*
"You have the greatest blobs ever, babe. Even better than Devvvin's."
"Blobs?"
"Mmhmm."
Ghost: (idk if Ghost drinks, but in this, he does. No hate plz) *starts crying*
"Babe?"
"What's wrong, Devin?!"
"I stretched the ass out in your jeans! I'm sorry!!" *sobs heavily*
"..."
Vinny:
*starts swinging his body around and hooting*
"I swear to God, Vinchenzo!" You yell as he starts swinging your bra around in the air.
"I surrender to the TrAp gods!" He yells, jumping on the table, almost falling over.
"IF YOU DON'T GET OFF MY GOD DAMN COFFEE TABLE, YOU FUCKING LIGHT WEIGHT, I'M GOING TO CUT OFF YOUR PENIS AND SELL IT ON EBAY!"
Vinny instantly jumped down and looked at your worriedly.
"But-but I need my little demon..."
Balz: (Balz doesn't drink either so in this, it's Thanksgiving night and he's basically 97% asleep and in a total food coma)
"Babe?" He mumbled into the pillow.
"Yeah?" You glanced up from your book.
"When I'm dead, sell my body in my store plez."
"What?"
"Dress me in my puppy socks with a blossoming wig..." Balz muttered.
You furrowed your eyebrows.
"Blossoming wig?"
"Pretty fairy hurrrrrrr..."
"The fuck?"
"I have boner."
"Go to sleep, Josh."
This was a total wreck.
I'm so sorry. This was meant to be funny but I was writing this in my driver's ed class and it didn't turn out the way I wanted, rip. Also, whenever there was a typo, I just went with it and just added it to the joke. (Hint: in the Ryan one my phone autocorrected 'boobs' to 'blobs' so I thought that was funny.)
Xx- Cruelty
That moment when you're texting someone and the conversation takes a dark, depressing turn....
