So most of you saw the vent chapter I did..I know..Cloude normally does happy drawings brings positivity. Lately I haven't been feeling like that. Heck I've been stacking so many emotions..I'm scared to ask you guys for help. That's why I don't message you guys the majority of the time about my emotions. With so many going through emotional things of their own. I feel have to be a role model. I try my best to make it seem nothing is wrong with me. I just wanna take that pain away from those people so they don't stress..so they can have an easy life. I'm not sure who I am. I can't seem to find myself. So I help people to get the lingering thought of that away..
I'm not always positive. I'm always scared my positivy isn't enough. For some people it makes them look at life and want to make it good for them. Then others..darkness is still there and I want to reach and pull them out.
I've heard plenty of times " you can't help everyone " consciously I know that. But I won't allow that stupid sentence to stick to me..I know there is always a way but.. for your sakes.
Don't help me. Don't try to help me. It sounds cold. It sounds rude. But last time someone did that..they finally realized what I was telling them. And that was to stop trying to fix me. Took them a long time to figure that out. And I'm sure cause of it left a scar on them that they can't ever get rid of. And I don't want that for you. Some, it may overwhelm you, some may make you think of me different, oemaybw.. you'll leave me.
But I thank all of you for those comments..it helped me sleep a bit better tonight but I don't feel fully hyper and positive like I normally do. I just don't want you guys to get hurt. I love all of you..you've been here for me since I got watty and I feel it's been more support than I should have. Thank you. And I'm sorry at the same time.
