13 Reasons Why Imagines & Preferences

Ryan Shaver [1]

Requested by: @catastrophic8
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He yelled at you. Actually yelled. Ryan was a really close friend of yours, and he had never raised his voice to you before. You never thought he would. Friends fight, of course, but he wouldn't yell; he would get really upset. The arguments would usually end within a few hours. You'd had a crush on him for a while, which was probably why you were almost always the one to apologize.

You had been consoling him after Mr. Porter told him that he could no longer publish his newspaper at school. That's when he started yelling at you. You were so shocked and hurt that you ran out of the building to your car and went home.

Throughout the day, you received multiple texts from Ryan, but you didn't answer any of them. Later on, he decided to call you. You picked up after the third ring.

"What do you want?" you asked harshly?

"I'm sorry, (y/n)," was all he said.

"You really hurt my feelings, Ryan," you told him.

"I said I'm sorry," he said, his voice cracking on the last word. "I really fucked up," he told you, and you could hear in his voice that he was crying.

"Are you crying?" You asked, your voice softer now.

"I really messed up, (y/n)," was all he said.

"What's wrong?" you asked. Now you were concerned. When he didn't answer, you grew even more worried. "Ryan, please answer me. You can talk to me, I promise."

"Can we meet somewhere in person?" he asked, sniffling a bit.

"Of course. Where and when?" you asked, no longer angry or upset.

"Monet's maybe?" he cleared his voice. "In half an hour?"

"I'll be there," you told him.

"Thank you," he said, and you heard his voice break once more.

"Everything's gonna be okay, okay? I'll see you at Monet's in a half hour," you told him before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone. You quickly fixed your appearance before heading out. You arrived at Monet's early and waited for Ryan at a small table in the back corner. He showed up 5 minutes late and scanned the room for you. When he finally saw you, he gave you a weak smile as he made his way toward your table. You could tell he wasn't his usual confident self. He sat down across from you and immediately covered his face with his hands. He inhaled sharply before uncovering his face. You put your hand on top of one of his, which was resting on the table.

"Remember that anonymous poem I published in the newspaper a while back?" he finally spoke.

"Yeah, it was really good," you told him. You had heard the rumors around school that Hannah Baker had written it, but you knew better than to believe the rumors that went around.

"It was Hannah's," he whispered. You thought you heard him wrong, and maybe he saw in your face that you were confused because he repeated himself.

"Oh," was all you managed to say. You didn't know what else to say.

"That's why she killed herself," he mumbled.

"What? No it's not, Ryan. That wasn't your fault," you assured him.

He swore you to secrecy and told you about the tapes. He gave brief descriptions of each of them until he got to his own. That's when he broke down and began sobbing hysterically. You had never seen him like this before, and you didn't think he would want anyone else to. You dragged him out to your car where he cried for a good 10 minuted before he finally stopped. That's when you decided to speak up.

"Ryan, look at me," you said softly, and he shifted his gaze from his hands to your face.

You opened your mouth to speak again, but he did first.

"I told her she would thank me someday," he said, sniffling and looking back at his hands.

"You couldn't have known," you whispered, rubbing his back soothingly. "Look at me," you said again after a moment or two. "You published a poem that you really admired. You couldn't have known that it would lead to this."

"But that's just it, (y/n). It did. It lead to Hannah's death. I'm part of the reason why she's dead. How the hell am I supposed to live with that?" He said as he slammed his hand on the dashboard. You reached over and took his hand in yours.

"Together," was all you said, and the look on his face prompted an explanation from you.
"I'm here for you, Ryan. I'm here to help you get through all the shitty things in life because that's what friends do, okay?" you told him. For the first time since he had walked into Monet's, he smiled. He reached over the middle console and hugged you tightly, and you hugged him back, rubbing his back in a way similar to before. "We'll get through this together," you said as you untangled yourself from him. Then, he mumbled something, although you weren't sure what it was.

"Hm?"

"I said, 'Together with you sounds pretty good to me'," he whispered, but you were confused and he must've seen that confusion in your eyes because he leaned over and kissed you quickly to show exactly what he meant.

"Oh," you said, blushing furiously. You stared down at your hands for a moment, smiling to yourself. Then, you leaned over and pecked his cheek.

"How about we go back inside and actually order something this time?" he suggested, and you laughed.

"That sounds great," you said, getting out of the car and walking back inside.

a/n: Hi! I have never actually written Ryan before and I don't know if I portrayed him well because we didn't see the more vulnerable and emotional side of him on the show. I really hope that you all like it though.