Neighbors (Liam Payne AU)

Part 22

An hour later, they set off down the river, headed south for the tiny cabin that had belonged to her grandparents. It had been passed on to Eva's mother and sat empty most of the time. It was beyond tiny. One room and a half bath. Not even a shower. No bedroom. A fold out couch and a kitchenette. That was all. The lot was huge and right on the lake with a dock for a boat. The island was also accessible from land, using a ferry from the mainland. When they came here as kids, they always stayed in tents or a camper, using the cabin for the bathroom and that was all.

The same thing always happened when they came here. She and Arden laid on the beach and Harry went to play golf. Harry wanting to 'talk' made things even worse. They'd have a fight and then he'd go play golf while she, Jamie and Arden laid on the beach. She didn't want to be trapped here. She wanted to be home. She wanted to be making love to Liam on the boat, not sleeping in it with Harry. Jamie and Arden were strapped into life jackets and secured into seats on the deck. Eva laid on the bench seat, trying to forget where she was.

When they arrived, the boys ran off to investigate the cabin and the yard. Eva went to the kitchenette to make dinner.

Eva: We're here

Liam: How's Jamie?

Eva: He's having fun

Liam: How are you?

Eva: Sad.

Liam: Me, too.

Eva settled the boys into Arden's cabin on the boat and went to 'talk' to Harry. He was sitting on the edge of the bed. She went and laid near the head. "Knock it off, Eva. We are still married. You are still my wife. Stop acting like a child. Get over here."

Eva sighed and moved closer. "I don't know what else you want me to say, Harry. I said it all. You don't love me, you don't spend time with me, you don't help me with the house or Arden. This is not a marriage. We are roommates. Hell, we aren't even that."

Harry put his head in his hands. "Look, I'm willing to try, okay? I love you. I miss you. We can go to therapy. Fix this. I've been to the doctor again and he's willing to help me, to do a surgery that can help. I might be able get an erection, have sex. We can try for a second baby again."

"No! No! I won't. Not again." Eva yelled. "No!" She stood up and walked out of the room, up the stairs and climbed off the boat. She headed to the cabin, wanting to be alone with her thoughts.

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After Harry was diagnosed, sex was impossible. The skin on his penis would tear and bleed or be rubbed so raw that he couldn't touch it without winching in pain. The first year went quickly, Eva being busy taking care of Arden. By the time he was one, Eva was thinking about the second baby she'd never get a chance to have. Harry found her crying one day when she was packing up clothes that Arden had outgrown. They were all marked in boxes she had labeled 'Goodwill.' Harry managed to get an answer out of her and set about finding a way to have another baby.

It was her gynecologist who suggested inseminating Eva. It was an easy process. She took some shots to increase her egg production, Harry was able to do his job in a cup and her doctor injected the sperm. It was pretty simple. Her doctor was certain it would work. It was something that was becoming more and more common. There didn't need to be test tubes or implantation, there just needed to be an egg waiting for a sperm.

Eva refused to check for two weeks, even though the doctor had told she'd be able to tell within days if she was pregnant. And she was. She and Harry held each other and wept. Maybe things could be okay. Maybe they could make this work. They didn't need to have sex to be close.

Her six week check up was fine. She was pregnant, they couldn't do much else. They would do an ultrasound at eight weeks, but six weeks wouldn't show much of anything. Her insurance wouldn't cover that.

Before she made it to her eight week appointment, she started to bleed. She refused to say anything to anyone. Harry didn't know anything was wrong until she passed out, blood soaking her pants. She was rushed into surgery, the pregnancy not viable. It was ectopic, the baby was growing in the wrong place. She'd waited too long and lost a Fallopian tube. While they were operating, the found a mass on her ovary and decided to remove it, too. Her chances of having another baby were decreased by fifty percent in just a few short minutes.

She spent the next year in a deep depression, only taking care of Arden, not herself. She slept all the time and refused to talk about anything at all, she just packed up everything Arden had ever wore, used or played with. It was all vacuumed pack and stuffed into the storage room of their tiny house, all of it moving with them when they moved to the bigger house and currently stored in the basement. She just kept adding to the stock, refusing to explain why she was saving it all.

A year later, her doctor told her that she had fibroids in her uterus. They also decreased her chance of having another baby. They were treatable, but Eva didn't see the point. Her period came every few months or so, but not enough to be a problem. Her having another baby was so far from reality that it never even occurred to her that it was even possible. It was a dead dream to her and it pushed her and Harry even farther apart. They never, ever talked about the missing child, but she felt the hole in her heart every single day.

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Harry knocked on the cabin door, Arden and Jamie with him. "Jamie wants to go. Call his dad." He turned and walked back to the boat. Eva sighed and opened the door, letting the boys in. They climbed into the foldout couch and she turned on the ancient television, so old that it was hooked up to a VCR, and put in one of the four tapes that had been in the cabin forever: The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Dumbo and one she put in, Goonies. Then, she stepped outside on the front porch and called Liam.

"Hello?" Liam answered, sounding worried.

"Hey. Jamie wants to come home."

She heard Liam sigh with relief. "Oh, okay. Well, Sophia is here, so I'll drive up. Do you have an address?"

Eva told him the address and how to get to where she was, but he needed to hurry, she explained. The ferry didn't run all night. Liam promised to hurry and hung up. She decided to stay outside and wait, think about what she really wanted. Did she want to save her marriage? Harry wanted to try. Did she want to be with Liam? She was sure she was in love with him. He made her feel important, useful, loved. Maybe she wanted to be alone. That had never happened before. She went from home, to a dorm, to Harry. She stared at the sky, counted the stars and prayed for answers.