Heart of Glass

Journal Entry Eight

Cured. I still can't fully wrap my head around it. Everyone is expecting me to be in full celebration mode, but the cause of the cure kind of puts a damper on any feelings of joy I might have.

I still haven't given Lucas an answer. I mean, how the hell are you meant to answer something like that? It doesn't have to be the end... does it? Those words keep echoing in my mind like a broken record player. I thought about telling Lainie and Paige about how we were cured, but I knew how they would both react. They were both big believers of true love, and finding happy ever after's. They'd be shoving me at Lucas every opportunity they got.

Fortunately Lucas hasn't told anyone either, and hasn't had a chance to bring it back up. He isn't making it easy on me though. Everyday he comes in to visit, or sit and talk with Emily. Sometimes I catch him sneaking glances my way. Luckily Paige and Lainie have been mother henning me, so it doesn't leave him any opportunities to catch me alone. His presence alone however is enough to keep me on edge. I can feel my heart doing stupid tricks whenever he's in the room. The scar twinges sometimes when that happens but I don't feel the urge to hit it anymore.

Oh, speaking of Paige – yesterday she dropped a bomb on me.

"I left home three weeks ago," she said casually, dropping a bag of cookies on my lap.

"You what?" I exclaimed. "Did Dad kick you out?"

"Nope." Munching on a cookie, she explained everything. Once I'd returned to England after Grandpa's funeral, Dad had turned tyrant. He forced her into that slime balls arms every chance he got. She wasn't sure what it was that tipped her over the edge, but she finally had enough of it and with no real friends to turn to, she had called Lainie.

"Lainie?" I had asked.

"Yeah. I still had her number in my phone, and I just needed someone to talk to and vent to, you know?"

"You could've called me."

"You were already dealing with enough," she said gently. "I know you pretend not to care, but if I'd come to you with my problems you would've worried."

She was right; begrudgingly I let her continue.

She started meeting up with Lainie on a regular basis, and it took some time, but Lainie finally convinced her that there was more to life than doing our father's bidding. Lainie had moved into a share house after high school, and she had taken Paige in. She helped her pack her belongings, leave a note for Dad, telling him in a polite but firm way to get stuffed, and Paige was now crashing on Lainie's couch while she looked for a job.

"I have no experience in anything," she smiled weakly. "But I'll try anything right now and in February I'll try to look for a traineeship or something once I have a little bit of money saved."

"Have you heard from Dad?"

"Just the lawyers." She shrugged. "Apparently he wants nothing to do with either of us. Our trust funds are still safe, but don't kick in until we're twenty-five. I think when I get mine I'm going to donate it some charity he hates."

"Sounds like a good plan." I didn't know how much was in my trust fund, but I didn't care anymore either. I'd rather make my own way without any connections to our jerk Dad. Maybe I can donate mine to the Doc or something. That would tick Dad off for sure.

"I think you should do something like even planning," I told her suddenly. "You always helped plan all those shindigs Dad threw. You were good at that, even if they did suck."

She grinned. "Yeah, they did suck. It was fun planning them though. I'll keep it in mind. Thanks, Ariel."

Lainie told me later she didn't mind helping Paige out. She'd been drowning, and she'd always hated our Dad, so pissing him off was an added bonus for her.