Heart of Glass

Journal Entry Seven

So apparently Lucas can hold a grudge better than myself.

Last night while Em and I were eating dinner he came into the kitchen. I'll admit, I did go quiet, but only because I felt awkward after our last encounter. I'd broken my promise to him and even though it had been done with good intentions (okay, selfish intentions...) I hadn't enjoyed hurting him.

"Lucas -" I barely got his name out before he stalked out, nearly taking the door off its hinges.

Emily offered me a sympathetic look. "It's okay, he'll come around. He's been pretty upset since Autumn..."

She drifted off but I didn't really need her to finish the sentence. Just the mention of her name was enough to wreak a few moments of havoc on my emotions.

It's kind of strange, how someone I had known for less than half a year could have wound their way so tightly into my heart - so to speak. I mean, I get the pain when Grandpa died, but I'd known him my whole life. It's terrifying to think of how important these people have become to me, and I almost tore them all away.

Being normal and without this curse, it feels like a life time ago. I was another person - a bitchy person but whatever. I really, really don't want to admit to this, but I think on some crazy stupid level, I'm almost thankful to that bitch witch for doing this to me. Because of this, I have Lainie back, my sister and I are slowly rebuilding our relationship, and I've made true friends that I would do anything for.

As I said; crazy stupid level. There's no way I'm telling the Doc any of this.

Anyway, what was I writing about? Oh right, so I tried to follow Lucas back up to his room, but he refused to open the door, no matter how many times I asked. I was thinking about how much it would hurt to try and kick the door in when I heard someone speaking Italian. At first I thought it was Michael, but unless he had turned into a angry sounding teenage girl, then I doubted it.

Moving away from Lucas' door I headed towards the voice. It was coming from Autumn and Kestral's room. I realised it was Kestral speaking and I didn't have to speak the language to understand she was pissed. I don't know why I tried to creep closer so I could hear better. It wasn't going to make any difference.

Unfortunately Samson chose that moment to walk out of the bathroom, closing the door loudly and Kestral stopped talking. I quickly moved back towards my own room, as if that had been my destination all along as Samson greeted me cheerfully. Kestral's door snapped shut and I didn't fail to notice the look that crossed Sammy's face as his eyes turned towards it. Obviously I wasn't the only one who thought there was something going on with her.

Man, I spend a week drowning in my own pity party and things start to get interesting again.

I finally got to see Oscar again last night too. I couldn't sleep and came downstairs for a glass of water, almost crashing into him coming out of the kitchen.

"Hey!" I smiled. "Long time no see, I forgot it was a full moon tonight."

My smile died as his eyes darkened and he brushed past me, heading for the stairs.

"Wait!" I caught up to him and grabbed his arm. "What's wrong?"

I couldn't think of why he was angry with me, I hadn't done anything to upset him this week.

"You know what's wrong," he muttered, shaking his arm free.

"I-I do?" He started to walk away again and I made another grab for his arm. "Hey! I don't understand."