Parineeta

The Disturbance Gave Peace!

Manik and everyone else had soon left but not before Manik pleading to me to go back with him but i refused. I needed time. I needed time to trust him again. I needed time to accept this contracted fake-true marriage. I needed space to understand what i wanted and i needed time to decipher what he ever wanted.
And thus I decided to stay back at Murthys for the night.
I was lost in my own thoughts when i my phone rang. I picked it up without looking at the caller.
"Manik.. Tum so jaao na.. Khud bhi disturbed ho meri neend bhi khraab kar rhe ho!" i blurted only to be shocked by the reply.
"Nandu.. Tu kahi bahar hai.. Tera aur Manik ia phir jhagda hua.. Aise baat karte hai apne husband se!"i heard amma speak relentlessly.
"a.. Amma vo.. Mai.."i stuttered not knowing how to cover up for this.
"Nandu tu khush toh hai iss shaadi se?"she asked me the question which i had wanted her to ask me but before this marriage happened. There were chances that i could have said no. I could have told her what it all meant. Because definitely my mom had no idea that this marriage was a contract.
" i wish aapne yeh mujhse shaadi se pehle puchha hota!"i muttered,"i wish aapne shaadi se pehle ek baar mujhse baat ki hoti.."
"kya badal jaata.. Shaadi toh teri honi hi thi.. Tere appa ko iski zarurat thi aur tu apne appa ki vaat kabhi nhi taalti hai.. Aur yeh toh hum bhi jaante hai ki tu Manik se kitna pyaar karti hai.."she said.
"mai toh karti hu.. Behad karti hun.. Lekin kya kisi kabhi isse puchha ki vo mujhse pyaar karta hai ya nhi... Agar puchhte toh shayad yeh shaadi compromise nhi shaadi kehlaati.."i said lowly.
"vo agar tujhse pyaar nhi karta toh iss shaadi ke liye bolta hi kyu?"she asked me.
"amma.. Shayad uske dad ke liye bhi yeh utna hi important tha jitna mere appa ke liye!"i knew she would come up with something rather comforting. "Nandu.. Yeh shaadi aaj ya kal honi hi thi.. Yehi likha tum dono ki destiny mei.. Aur destiny se koi nhi bhaag sakta.. Jab jo hona hota hai vo hota hai.. Aur ho sakta yeh tumhara life ka end nhi ek naya start ho.."she said calmly.
" haan ma.. Start toh tha lekin ek aisi life ka jahan mai aur vo sirf strangers hai.. Ab usse dekh kar aisa lagta hai jaise saalo se mai kisi aur se pyaar karti aayi.. Yeh vo nhi hai ma.. Ya shayad vo yeh nhi tha..ya phir vo jab tab mere saath tha vo Manik hi nhi tha.. Vo mera create kiya hua el insaan tha jiski actual mein kabhi koi existence thi hi nhi.."i reverted as a tear drop fell from eyes.
"Nandu.. Life mein jo bhi jota uske peeche ek vajah hoti yeh toh maanti hai na.."she paused and i nodded.
"toh ho sakta hai.. Yeh shaadi tum dono ki isiliye hui taaki tum ek susre ko closely jaan sako.. Vo jo illusion tum dono ne ek dusre ke baare mein create kiya tha usse mitane ke liye.. Ho sakta hai jisse tu compromise bol rhi hai.. Vo hi aage tumhari manzil ban jaaye.."she said giving me hopes.
"kaise ma.. Pyaar toh maine kiya usse.. Usne nhi.. Vo toh kisi aur se pyaar karta hai.."i said getting resless.
"Nandu abhi toh tumhare iss naye rishte ki bas shuruvat hai.. Thodha vakt toh de.. Har cheez iss duniya mein aane mein time leti hai chahe vo ek chhote bache ki pehchaan ho..ya ek naye rishte ki jaan ho.. Aur har cheez apne time se hi hoti hai.. Har naye rishte mei pyaar bas yuhi nhi janam leta na.. Time lagta hai.. Aur vo time tumhe usse dena padega.."she said.
"par maa tab tak mai aisi logo ke liye mazak ban ke toh nhi reh sakti na.. Manik ko mujhse pyaar nhi hai ismein meri kya galti hai.. Kyun mai hamesha sab ke kiye ek option hoti hu.. Ek second opinion.."i said letting out all my hurt.
"Nandu ho sakta hai jo tumhe second option lag rha ho.. Vo kisi ke liye first priority ho.. Ho sakta hai yeh sirf tujhe lag raha ho ki tu Manik ki life mein second option hai lekin uske liye tu hi uski first priority ho.. Chahe vo tujhe koi bhi naam de.. Tujhe usko di gyi ek responsibility hi kyu na bole vo.. Par sabse pehle vo jo karta hai tere baare mei soch kar hi karta hai.."she said with surity and did feel convinced. My hope seemed to be returning back to me.
"amma bhot late ho gya hai.. Mai aapse kal baat karti hun.."i said and i could feel her smile. Maybe she knew her words had worked on me. Afterall she was my mother and she knew how to convince me.
"haan abhi tu so jaa!kal college bhi hoga na.. Hum kal parso tak aa jaaenge.."she said and i disconnected the call.

'Maybe she is right! Maybe you should give him another chance.. Give love another chance..' my heart whispered.
'really.. You want her to break herself once more..'my brain stormed but i couldn't help remembering that in alk this while after our marriage, Manik hadn't ignored me, my presence or my feelings even for once. He acknowledged me every time even though only for some time but he was there. He did notice my changed behavior. He did understand that i was upset about something and he also wanted to know what was it upsetting me. Today he had scolded Alya and come back to me to apologize even after knowing that i wasn't going to talk to him. He was getting all possessive when i told him that i had seen Madhyam in that condition too. He wanted to keep me safe from people like Harshad but what if it was just because he felt responsible for me.
I lay back in my bed trying to understand my own self. I was busy turning the lamp on and off  simultaneously to clear the mess in my head when my phone rang again.
I looked at the caller this time to not make any stupid statement.
Manik.
It displayed. My brain told me to ignore and let him think that i slept and i did that but he had to be stubborn. He kept ringing and finally the calk got disconnected but he wasn't going to quite.
:i know you haven't slept..pick up the call or else It won't take me time to come there!:he texted me and almost immediately my phone rang again.
"Manik tum apni girlfriend ka number bhul gye ho kya.. Mai dedu.."i asked innocently.
"ji nhi mere paas Alya ka number but abhi mujge usse nhi tumse naat karni hai..."he said sharply.
"par mujhe nhi karni.. I'm sleepy.. Kal college bhi hai.. Let m sleep.."i said and he rolled his eyes on the other side.
"tell me something.. Was that really true when you said you had seen Madhyam like that.."really he was stilk stuck there.
Ho sakta hai uske liye tu uski first priority ho..
Amma's words rang i n my head amd an unknown smile spread over my lips as i clutched a pillow close to me.
"haan Manik.. Madhyam uss din shower leke hi nikla tha jab mai uske room mei gayi.."i said.
"tum uske room mein kyu gayi.."was his immediate response.
"vo Navya ka phone tha na vha toh vhi lene gyi thi.. Par jaise hi mai andar gyi toh vo apne baal set kar rha tha.. God! He was looking so hot! Uski puri body looked like mannequin.."i said dreamily and he began sulking on the other side.
"behave yourself.. Don't forget I'm still your husband and you are my wife.."he said trying to sound angry, "and you're not supposed to use such words for any guy..except me.."he said the last line alot slower but thanks to my sharp hearing i heard it very clearly.
" tum itne bhi koi hot ya handsome nhi ho.."i teased but i knew it very well that whatever i was saying was all a lie.
"larkia marti hain mujhpe.."he said with attitude.
"pagal hoti hai vo larkia.."i said, "now you let me sleep.."i said and disconnected before he could continue further.
:goodnight wifey.. Sleep well.. You'll be going with me tomorrow as well..: jis text popped up not before long and a wide smile came on my lips as i drifted into deep sleep holding my phone close to me. For the first time ever had this disturbing piece, my phone, had given me peace