Caleb
Growing up the youngest of four Irish brothers, I got few blessings and frequent beatings.
We fought over the few things we cared about—Ma’s love and our Dad’s mercy. There wasn’t a hand in our house I feared worse than that of my Dad’s eldest, Liam.
When Ma died, Dad’s misery turned violent and my brothers left together to find a place of their own. I stayed behind and tried to convince myself that I could fix my father. There wasn’t any sense in that, though.
A month after my brothers left, Dad took his fists to me so badly that I couldn't walk for three days. Liam came back and took me out of the house I wasn’t strong enough to leave on my own.
The four of us christened our new place as our "safe house"; an abandoned slaughterhouse on the outskirts of Manassas that earned its name just because it was far enough away from our father.
We lived by Liam’s rules there—no alcohol and no women. He didn’t want distractions. Hailey would be our first.
***
I got to Hailey sometime during the last twenty-minutes of our ride into town.
She’d been silent since then. I’d never seen anyone pout as much as she could, and if she kept this up her lips would probably get stuck that way—that’s what my Ma used to say, anyway.
She had a princess complex worse than any of the local girls. Guess it was a city thing. None of that “Prada” stuff mattered out here.
The girl didn’t understand limits—she wasn’t free to do and say whatever she wanted, however she wanted. Weird thing was, even after the morning she'd had, Hailey still didn’t seem to be afraid of anything. She sure as hell wasn’t afraid of me.
To tell you the truth, the whole situation scared me shitless. Maybe it was the way I’d been for a while, or maybe it was ‘cause I knew what was coming.
As a kid, I knew better than to mouth off to whoever I wanted to. Either I kept quiet or had the shit kicked out of me—easy as that. I used to cry a lot about it too.
Dad said I was too much like my mom as a kid, and still weak in all the wrong places at seventeen. There wasn’t much I could do about it. I didn’t get any tougher, but I learned not to cry.
Hailey hadn’t cried all morning, which freaked me out ‘cause I thought girls were more sensitive about things. Maybe she was braver than I was. She took off my edge with that reckless stare, and as crazy as she was, she kept me calmer than I thought I’d be.
Had it been some other girl, I probably would’ve chickened out. Before I ran into her, I thought she’d be some priss who’d hit me with her bag and call the cops, but she didn’t. Maybe that made her naïve, but things worked out.
Ten minutes came and went, and Hailey still hadn’t said anything to me. I felt kind of bad about it. I shouldn’t have, but I did. Liam wouldn’t have put up with her. He would’ve killed her before letting any woman turn him lap dog.
If I walked off the bus, tail between my legs, he’d know about it. He’d beat me black and blue ‘til I was numb to her, and I hoped to God I was a little less transparent today.
***
Liam was leaning on the hood of dad’s rusted Chevy pick up when we pulled into Manassas.
He was a little ways away from the crowd of middle-aged sons and daughters waiting for their parents. He stuck out like a pariah. We were a half-hour late, and I knew even from where I was standing that he wasn’t happy about it.
The bus pulled in, and I stood up from my seat. My right foot went nuts like it always did when I got nervous. I couldn’t help it. Sometimes it would stop after a little while, but I used to get laughed at for it when I was kid.
I tried playing off my anxiety in front of Hailey, but she was too distant to care. When my foot stopped, I started down the center aisle and slowed down about every other seat to let the withered old women shuffle off of the bus before I’d have to.
Hailey followed behind without hesitating. Ma used to say girls only got like that when they were really mad about something. I held her hand when we got near the driver, and she kept trying to pinch me. I thought she’d cause a scene before we passed him, but she settled down once we got to the stairs.
Once we got to the bottom, Hailey got all quiet and still again. She’d be better off mad and silent than scared, ‘cause walking off that bus, I couldn't have been closer to pissing myself.
Liam slid down the hood of Dad’s truck, sucked the life out of his Marlboro, and tossed it to the concrete. He took off his sunglasses right when he saw Hailey. I didn't have to ask questions to know that he'd already gotten to thinking things he shouldn’t have been.
He cracked a grin so twisted his teeth looked like a goddamn briar patch.
“Good boy Caleb! Snagged yourself a looker didn’t ya?”
His voice ripped through the heat like a hunting knife. His "r's" came kicking and screaming out of his mouth and hung heavy in the air like Dad's did whenever trouble was on his mind. He stepped toe to toe with Hailey, grabbed a handful of her hair, and breathed her in.
“Too clean. Needs a bit of ruffin’ up I think, then she’ll do. Right kiddo?”
I kept my eyes glued to the pavement. No sense in staring trouble straight in the face.
“You gotta look your man in the eye, Caleb. Only sinners and the guilty avert them.”
I didn’t say a word—I knew better.
Liam pulled his knife out of my pocket, stuck it in between Hailey’s wrist and mine and cut the zip tie to pieces. He didn’t care that he drew blood, just that he got his knife back.
“Sorry to break you apart so soon, but I can’t let you get too comfortable, you’ll end up attached!”
He grabbed Hailey by the arm so hard her skin paled where he touched her. All the blood in her face faded ‘til the only thing left swimming under her surface was raw fear. That's what the truth looked like.
All that fight she'd had with me, that city girl spark I'd seen kicking and screaming in her eyes, flickered out in less than seconds around my brother. Watching her fall to pieces at his fingertips felt a little too familiar, so I tried looking anywhere else just to keep the sick feeling in my stomach from boiling over.
Liam never took too long to get violent. The click and thud of him opening the truck door and throwing her inside, stole the strength right out of my spine. As difficult as she was, I wouldn't have tossed her around like that.
Liam didn't give a damn either way, 'cause when it came him, women and ragdolls weren't all that different.
“Can I sit next to her on the way back, Cal?”
“Screw yourself, Liam.”
Bullets spewed out of my mouth before common sense could stop them. I didn't plan on getting mad or starting trouble, but watching him take his anger on a girl was too much. I curled my lips into my gums hard enough for him to see my teeth.
Liam sauntered back over, and shoved the car keys into my gut to knock the fight out of me. He hit me so hard I thought I'd choke before catching my breath again.
“The Anderson girl is the only one I’m thinking about screwing, Caleb. Get in the car.”
He took out his knife again, scraped the edge of the blade underneath my chin, and pointed the tip towards the truck.
“Shotgun," he said.
Liam sprinted to the truck and sat down next to Hailey before I could say anything. Walking back, I hoped to God that the bad feeling I had about my brother was just a feeling. But when it came him, I'd never been wrong.
***
The whole drive home felt like riding down the road to perdition.
I had a damned hard time focusing on the highway with Liam's hands all over Hailey. She'd gotten quiet again, but this time it was an empty quiet. She stared out over the dashboard while he twisted her arms behind her back with one hand, and rubbed her thighs with the other.
“There’s a good girl.”
Her crying tore my attention right off of the road.
“Don’t fret now, you’re in good hands, the best,” he said.
I knew I wasn't supposed to ask questions, I knew I was supposed to leave them alone, drive the car, and keep to myself. But when I caught Liam trying to slide his fingers down Hailey’s shorts, I jerked the wheel hard to the right, kicked in the brakes, and veered off the road into the cornfields.
Everything got slow.
I remembered the smell of things burning, the tires screaming against the pavement, the world flipping upside down before disappearing into clouds of dust, and Hailey flying out the window into the dry, dying cornhusks.
