When you thought I am just moody and full of attitude. I was deeply hurt.
When you asks questions on what did you do to me? You turn a blind eye when you know the problem is you. It irritates me how you invalidated my feelings.
When you ignored my calls, texts and chats while you replied to others. It makes me feel so stupid.
When you choose to sleep rather than fix things up with me. How can you do that?
When you deleted chats, texts or messages. You broke my trust.
When you lied consecutive times over money and make up stories about anything to assure me that you are different. It is so disappointing.
When you said you got no vice yet you stink of a cigarrette smoke. It was already obvious but you insist to make me believe you didn't do that.
When you said no when I said I want you. It hits differently because no guy would ever say no when talking about that. That's already a red flag.
After caring on all your emotions and burdens in life. I do not want you to be mad over something petty and get moody just because I did not provide one thing for you.
After I carefully attend to all the things that may have hurt you. I do not want you to shoulder all your negative feelings and be invalidated by me. I want us to talk everything as in everything. No lies, just all truths because I want us to understand each other.
After being so active for you to the point that I am ignoring other even my family and have your chat mainly open when we are talking and replying as fast as I can right after I received and read your messages. Called you back immediately after seeing all the missed calls from you.
After I stayed all night crying and drowning in tears just because we had a misunderstanding and yet you seem to be fine in a safe and sound sleep.
After being too honest, telling you every chats, texts, and messages that can be deleted but I choose to be faithful because I really care for your feelings and I do not want to ruin your trust.
After being so open over your money and mine. A well accounted bank and balances. After being so naked, showing you all the real me from head to toe. No stories were made just to make you stay.
After asking you bluntly to reassure you that you could be honest and we can fix things up so you can trust me whatever the truth is. I even took the risk and made you feel you are safe with me when somebody accused you of a crime you did not commit. Yet over a thing you couldn't just give up yet, you choose lying over us.
After staying awake all night, forgetting about my health just to satisfy you when you needed me. Giving it all for you yet when I asked you do not even hesistated to say no.
And if you thought you had given your best yet, the amount of love, money and care I provided. Remember that even half of it wasn't even returned yet you are already breaking the bond you took risks building for. Yet I remained silent because I do not want to bring this up to attack you but for you to realize how I love you and you are treating me after that. I really hope you'll do things to fix this up because I am already on my edge — anytime ready to fly. Or just continue and let yourself lose someone you won't have back.
Itai.
