regina my beloved

who decided to give my rug a grip of steel? this mf will not let me fully vacuum it. I have to use bare floor to even get close. 

finally got around to changing my theme just so I can change it to Flo in two weeks

Netflix: You don't pay enough, so we're gonna give you ads.
          
          T-mobile: it's so funny how I don't care

BRO SOME KID DROPPED THEIR VAPE ON MY BUS ☠️

mom I frew up (real)

"Why do they sound more Spanish in the English version than they do when they're singing in Spanish?" - my friend after watching We Don't Talk About Bruno in Spanish. 

just found out somebody tried to assassinate trump with a forklift in 2017. this is so stupid that its funny ☠️

my mom, getting me an old rag: I shouldn't have to tell you how to clean
          
          her upon seeing me use toilet bowl cleaner to get rid of the stains in my shower: what is that

I smacked my ear with the handle of a coil maker in ceramics and yeowch. it's still red an hour later.

me when my earring backings fall off bc they're too loose but my earrings fit perfectly and don't fall out
          
          I genuinely don't know how old those earring backing were tbf