🥀 ROSE Coffie 🥀

Just got a new love for gay cowboys because of Webtoon :]

POV: you just made a Facebook account that doesn’t use your deadname, and Facebook immediately suggests for you to add your transphobic family members :facepalm:

My grandpa keeps calling my sisters and I pigs for eating fast, when he eats like a mf hog.
          
          If I’m ever gonna kill someone and go to jail for murder, it would be him and I wouldn’t regret ANYTHING.
          
          And not only does he body shame us, but he’s also racist and homophobic/transphobic. And he abuses my grandma (emotionally, not physically, but it’s still bad)!!

Do you ever get déjà-vu when you’re playing a video game and the main character is a child with their life being threatened multiple times, and you think “that’s so familiar, I wonder where I’ve seen it before,” and you don’t think about Mr. Hopps Playhouse or any similar games, you just think of yourself and the bits and pieces of your childhood that you actually remember, and you realise that, that wasn’t a game.

You guys ever feel like taking a shower for so long that it makes your skin fall off? Like, I’m in that mood rn. My skin is too tight and I’m getting claustrophobic ;-;

Do you ever just… start crying? Like, you’re not sad or angry or upset at all. You’re perfectly fine, and then out of nowhere, you’re sobbing loud enough for the other side of the world to hear?
          
          And you can stop crying at some point, but speaking or talking to someone makes you cry again?
          
          I don’t know what’s wrong with me because I feel okay, I’m not upset, and they’re not happy tears because I’m not super happy either.

It’s currently 4:02 AM on a school night(morning?). I have to wake up at 6:00 AM and leave at 7:10 AM.
          
          So, why am I awake and on my phone right now, when I clearly want to sleep?
          
          Well, I’ve been hearing raccoons in my attic for a while and it’s always right above my bed. I can hear them scratching their way down towards me, and after asking safari if attic raccoons are dangerous, I cannot go back to sleep with the possibility that a raccoon can scratch and dig it’s way through the attic floor until it is in my room and ready to attack.
          
          I told my mum the first time, but she said to record it so I had proof, and when I went back, the raccoons stopped. It’s like they know.
          
          And I’m not afraid to die. No, I’m afraid of the physical pain and discomfort and the agony that comes with it. What if it ends up biting me and I get rabies? Or what if it bites off my fingers?? What if it scratches my eyes out???
          
          It took 6 minutes for me to type this. It is now 4:08 AM.

I wish my grandparents drank or smoked or something so I have something to do to get my mind off of bullshit while I’m here.
          
          Like I’m bored out of my mind rn. Even with so many books I like, and my phone, and some art books too, I still have nothing to entertain myself with.
          
          I wanted to be on my computer, but I forgot my mouse and I can’t stand using the mousepad touch thing when I’m playing, like, Minecraft or something.

Finding someone to talk to for free is so difficult. Especially if you don’t want them to immediately tell you to call a suicide prevention hotline.
          
          Like, NO, LINDA, I DON’T WANNA DIE, I just want someone to talk to so I can get out my confusing mix of unhealthy emotions without breaking something, hurting someone, or hurting myself!
          
          I’ll be fine by tomorrow, but it’s better to get it out than to let it bottle up and overflow because you keep overfilling your extremely small bottle that’s already way too full of violent, hurtful, crude, and chaotic emotions, right?

We need more intense kid shows. My favourite thing in kid cartoons is when it starts happy and by, like, the 5th episode or something it gets super sad/dark and the ending is either really sad or a huge eye-opener.
          
          Examples of this being: Over The Garden Wall, Star Vs The Forces of Evil, Gravity Falls, Adventure Time(although the dark episodes are kinda scattered and delayed), and Steven Universe.
          
          I want shows where the MC/MC’s go through some tragic shit and it impacts them a whole lot!! And I want near-death experiences for these sad teens!! And LOTS of trauma and angst!!!!
          
          Who agrees?