Eva, Parker, & Rowan

Parker is an alright emo girl. Parker enjoys laying on her bed while blasting Twenty One Pilots on full volume. Parker spends all of her money on Starbucks. She does not enjoy watching Netflix with her friends, maybe because it usually ends with Eva insisting on watching the disturbing side of YouTube. Parker is just your average emo girl with the exception of oily hair. Parker also happens to be the strongest person in her friend group, although she won't admit it. Parker's head is the warmest. Even though she appears to be the darkest person you will ever meet, she had a very dawn-tinted side.

Rowan is a seemingly perfect 14-year-old with uneven legs and hollow bones. She resembles a 6 or 5 year-old. Rowan is the kind of girl that would have a really sporty boyfriend. She enjoys eating Reese's penis's, the candy of which she can never pronounce correctly. She lives on a boat with her very popular brother and her cat, Hercules. Rowan also owns the smallest head in our friend group. When she was young Eva flooded her bathroom. Rowan can be locally known from her silky soft tufts of truffulatruffla tree hair. Rowan is the opposite of cool and all the cool kids laugh at the idea of sitting with her. She the cutest knees in the friendship and maybe even the world! She gets pink eye two times a year. She smells like almond milk and rowaniness.  

Eva Kate Stanger-Ross is a Jake Pauler. She likes to spend most of her time on her mom's phone browsing urban dictionary. Eva is also openly pro-slavery, she will constantly insist that putting slaves in her basement is the optimal heating method. Once Eva reared on her back, pulled her legs up over her head and farted on Parker, maiming her for life. Eva likes to wear the same lotion as Rowan's Grannie, so she can smell like an old lady to attract old men. Eva is well known for her pink marijuana shoes.  She likes to use profanities in front of her teachers. Eva also happens to be in love with Benedict Cumberbatch. He's 42.