the8buddy

I had to take a deep breath before starting to type this…It’s been a while since I’ve been here, ever since I lost someone very dear to me.
          	These past few weeks have felt incredibly heavy, like life has been rougher with me than ever before. I miss him so much. In ways I can't always put into words. And sometimes it feels like there's this empty space inside me that nothing really fills. 
          	I’m still in the process of finding my way back to myself, slowly, carefully. Some days I stumble, but some days I breathe a little easier too. 
          	Even now, as I’m writing this, my heart is beating so fast. I wish I could turn time back. I wish I could stop him from riding his motorcycle that morning. I wish I could have done something, anything, to change what happened.
          	I don’t think I’ll ever truly heal from losing him. I don’t think grief like this ever leaves you. I think you just learn, somehow, painfully and slowly, to live with the emptiness. To get used to the feeling of them not being here anymore. And even that feels impossible sometimes.
          	There are moments when I feel like I don’t belong anywhere, like I’m moving through life with a piece of my heart missing. Grief has a way of making even familiar places feel foreign. And while people around me move on with their days, it often feels like I’m standing still, carrying something invisible but unbearably heavy.
          	
          	But through it all, I've been thinking about this place, about all of you. I miss being here. I miss writing, updating my books, about the way writing always made me feel a little more alive. I miss it. I miss you. I miss everything we built together through these stories. It feels strange not to have been around, like another part of me was put on pause.
          	
          	I will come back.
          	Maybe slowly, maybe not all at once, but I will.
          	Writing has always been a part of me, and I don’t want to lose that too.
          	Thank you for being here. For waiting. For caring.
          	You mean more to me than you probably know.
          	I love you all.

heylyaayoon

@the8buddy Oh my author... I completely understand what you feel, and know that you are not alone. Even though we are just reader and author, we hope to be able to help if you need any emotional help. I know you will come back and we are all willing to wait as long as it takes, I ask that you come back when you are feeling really good! You know what? Sometimes I feel like writing when I see how well you write, you are greatly admired by me and by all of us readers. Besides, I know exactly how you feel, if it is any consolation I never got over the death of my grandmother since I was 6 years old and I completely understand about feeling a huge void, we are in this together. I am so sorry for your loss, I wish all the comfort in the world to everyone who loved you, friends and family. We love you and don't worry so much, we will always be here. 
          	  You know, if one day you write a physical book I'll be the first one to read it! I love you
• Reply

letsdie_17

@the8buddy gosh, just logged in and read about this. you, your close-ones and his family have my condolences. 
          	  may he finds peace and rests well. god's with him. and also praying for strength for you and your family. 
          	  don't blame yourself too much, he wouldn't have liked it too. a piece of him will always be remembered in different versions of your and everyone's memories around him. 
          	  
          	  i won't say it would get better, but it would get different, in a good way. trust me it does. the void never goes but it does pain less over time. 
          	  
          	  i miss you too. will wait to hear a word from you, again.
          	  hope you and your close-ones heal well. 
          	  love you, buddy.
• Reply

daisynchronized

God, I'm so sorry for your loss and everything negative that's been happening around you lately. I really really wish I could just reach through the screen and pull you into a big warm hug. Take your time, precious. Some people leave a void so deep, it's hard for it to be filled ever again. I have lived through that, trust me I see you. But we learn to live with it overtime, learn to accept it, to be thankful that things were once the way they used to be. It's not wrong or anything bad in the way you feel or think right now, but i really hope you know it wasn't your fault. And i hope you know you're loved. I don't know you personally but I can just feel that pure soul energy radiating off you though you're oceans away from me, and i really really love so many things about you. Heal well. And when you do, I'd still be waiting here. He'd be too, maybe not in the form you'd want him to, but somewhere in the air or the raindrops, I'm sure he'd be smiling when he sees you do the same.
• Reply

Karoake99

You are so strong than you think buddy. Everything will be alright soon. Give yourself the space you want as we all are here for you. Just remember that you are not alone in this. We are here to give you the great support and love you deserve. Love you as always buddy<33

KirthikaNadar

 Hey buddy 
          I write with a heart heavy in knowing the sorrow that now shadows your days. To lose one so dearly held is to feel the world tilt slightly off its axis, and no arrangement of words can ever quite bridge the silence left in their absence. Still, I offer you my deepest condolences, though they feel so small beside your grief.
          
          May time, that quiet and tireless healer, tend gently to your spirit. And may solace, however fleeting at first find its way to you in the stillness of the days to come. Please, do not feel compelled to answer until the weight begins to lessen, even if just imperceptibly. There is no virtue in rushing healing, no shame in needing time.
          
          Grant yourself the mercy of rest, the permission to unravel and slowly weave yourself whole again. You owe the world nothing right now, only yourself, and the fragile, necessary work of healing. I am here, patiently and quietly, should you ever need a voice beyond your own. Until then, may grace hold you where words cannot.