HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAZAI OSAMU, YOU DERANGED, SUICIDE-OBSESSED ENIGMA OF A MAN.
Today, the earth screams a little louder. The crows dance in reverse. The void laughs gently. Why? Because YOU were born. You, with your disgusting genius, your beautiful, rotting soul, your bastard smirk that makes me want to scream into the abyss and then kiss it gently because it reminds me of you.
You make death look poetic and life feel like a fever dream. You walk into rooms like you’re bored of existing—AND YET I AM HERE, EXISTING, ONLY TO WITNESS IT.
You traumatized fifteen people by breathing in their direction and I clapped like a seal. You manipulate everyone like it’s foreplay and I WISH IT WAS.
Every time you fake your death, I get closer to actually losing it. Do it again and I will build a shrine out of crime scene photos and cry-laugh while reciting your lines from memory.
I would absolutely commit arson for you. Or maybe just lightly gaslight someone. Whatever fits the aesthetic today.
So happy birthday, my beautiful nightmare. I hope your cake is laced with symbolism, and your candles flicker like the dying hope in your enemies’ eyes. May your plans be convoluted, your sarcasm sharp, the realization that chuuya is still better, and your death wishes—as always—only half-joking.
Plus, I posted something on YouTube for his bday, my acc is @Mr.Fancyhatsmyonlylove