seulestial

ik nobody is going to read this but ig it's just so tiring to fight the same battles w my brain everyday. sometimes, i'm just like, why can i be normal again? why did i have to learn about certain things(ex. calories)? *tw* struggling w anorexia and depression is honestly tiring, but it feels normal to be in constant pain that i don't feel a thing anymore. everything is just numb. i wish i was normal again, it feels like such a long time since I did. probably, it's been over 6 years :")Cognitive behavior therapy, counselors, meds,, they didnt really work. honestly, i even got sent to the psych ward once bc i attempted to commit suicide. I almost made it over one yrs wo self harm but it seems like quarantine is just fueling my mental issues. As for the ed, I've gone to hospitals, seen a nutritionist, etc, and I dont see much effect. Ofc, theres the forceful feeding but it doesn't work long term. It just goes back to square one, and so I just accept the fact that this is my life's worth. My priorities and Perceptions of things have been warped bc of these issues, and it feels like nothing will be normal. Why did I ever have to learn about calories? Why cant I just accept me? Sometimes I cant even bear looking at myself bc of my nonexistent confidence level. The only time I feel some sort of temporary happiness is when I see that number drop on the scale.  Being abnormal feels like the normal and pain has turned into numbness a long time ago. But anyways, I hope everyone is doing okay during this crisis & feel free to message me if you want to talk.

gucci4dtae_x

Damn the typos
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gucci4dtae_x

@seulestial I truly understand ur pure feelings tho im not depressed or hv anxiety but i do hv such problems at time...everyone do...ur confidence level doesnt define u...but the way u treat urself does...dont be afraid to look at urself...cus no one will look at the way u will look at urself. There'll be somethig dont like in yourself...yes everyone do...so maybe u could change or either accept and live...ur life worth more than all of this...though today is hard...one day there'll be a day when u will lool back and be glad and proud of urself...how strong u were to not to give up... And at the end everything will get better ...if it doesnt thats not the end...
          	  
          	  Idk if this will help but i said wt i wanted to say to u... One day you'll accept urself...❤️ 
Reply

eternitea40

@seulestial never feel like ur burdening us bc u aren't :) i'll be here for you for anything and thank you :)
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CEJeffery

Thanks for reading and all your comments on Unsanctioned, I really appreciate you offering to do this for people. ❤️

seulestial

ik nobody is going to read this but ig it's just so tiring to fight the same battles w my brain everyday. sometimes, i'm just like, why can i be normal again? why did i have to learn about certain things(ex. calories)? *tw* struggling w anorexia and depression is honestly tiring, but it feels normal to be in constant pain that i don't feel a thing anymore. everything is just numb. i wish i was normal again, it feels like such a long time since I did. probably, it's been over 6 years :")Cognitive behavior therapy, counselors, meds,, they didnt really work. honestly, i even got sent to the psych ward once bc i attempted to commit suicide. I almost made it over one yrs wo self harm but it seems like quarantine is just fueling my mental issues. As for the ed, I've gone to hospitals, seen a nutritionist, etc, and I dont see much effect. Ofc, theres the forceful feeding but it doesn't work long term. It just goes back to square one, and so I just accept the fact that this is my life's worth. My priorities and Perceptions of things have been warped bc of these issues, and it feels like nothing will be normal. Why did I ever have to learn about calories? Why cant I just accept me? Sometimes I cant even bear looking at myself bc of my nonexistent confidence level. The only time I feel some sort of temporary happiness is when I see that number drop on the scale.  Being abnormal feels like the normal and pain has turned into numbness a long time ago. But anyways, I hope everyone is doing okay during this crisis & feel free to message me if you want to talk.

gucci4dtae_x

Damn the typos
Reply

gucci4dtae_x

@seulestial I truly understand ur pure feelings tho im not depressed or hv anxiety but i do hv such problems at time...everyone do...ur confidence level doesnt define u...but the way u treat urself does...dont be afraid to look at urself...cus no one will look at the way u will look at urself. There'll be somethig dont like in yourself...yes everyone do...so maybe u could change or either accept and live...ur life worth more than all of this...though today is hard...one day there'll be a day when u will lool back and be glad and proud of urself...how strong u were to not to give up... And at the end everything will get better ...if it doesnt thats not the end...
            
            Idk if this will help but i said wt i wanted to say to u... One day you'll accept urself...❤️ 
Reply

eternitea40

@seulestial never feel like ur burdening us bc u aren't :) i'll be here for you for anything and thank you :)
Reply