possibilities5

Wow aren't relapses fun?

possibilities5

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I don't want a response. Because i know if I get one, shit is going to go down and we're both gonna be injured. Please let me be wrong about what is about to happen. 
          
          Why do these things always happen past midnight?

possibilities5

this message may be offensive 
Please don't be me. Please don't be me. Please don't be me. Please don't be me. I can't do this. 
          You don't understand. If this conversation is going where I think it's going, I'm going to have to lie. 
          And I really don't want to do that. 
          Please don't let this conversation be about your feelings. 
          I can't. 
          For some fucking reason I can't and now I don't want to respond to your texts because I don't want to be hurt. 
          I can't hurt you. 
          You can't be miserable. 
          Please. 
          I've done this once, you know so. 
          And we all know how that turned out. 
          So please, don't make me do it again. 
          I'm better alone than I am with someone. 
          Please. 
          Please don't let it be me.

possibilities5

I've kinda figured out that I don't really have friends anymore. But I guess it's my fault, I stopped putting forth effort to talk to them. And it sucks because it's only just now when I realize that I need friends, that I don't have any that I can talk to. Therefore, I am lonely and really just wanna curl up under blankets and watch Sherlock.

possibilities5

I had a really weird dream last night. I don't know how I feel about it because it felt so real and I felt so helpless. 
          I still do, and I kinda want to talk about it but then I don't because I'll feel helpless again so yeah. 
          Hope you have a nice life.

possibilities5

Thinking about death is able to make me calm yet anxious at the same time. I don't know how that's possible. 
          Thinking about how we're programmed to die, to quit, to give up and shut down. 
          I guess the calming part is how everything dies, everything. No matter how important it may seem to be, it'll end up dead. 
          I'll end up dead, forgotten. 
          I guess that's the anxious part, being forgotten. 
          Thinking about how I don't matter, nothing does. 
          My brain for some reason believes that it's better, makes me think I'm better, that I don't deserve to die. 
          I need to be remembered. 
          But then there's a calming part, again. 
          Everything is recycled, so in some way reincarnation is true. 
          Energy is neither created nor destroyed, just passed on to the next being which needs it. 
          So maybe that's calming,
          and maybe it's not. 
          Death. 
          What fun.