patheticgril

I forgot to announce that I have no Wifi for the past few days so I won't be online too much ( I'm using data )

patheticgril

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I starting to suspect I have ADHD... Or I'm just a forgetful , lazy piece of shit.
          
          Ever since I remembered from middle school till highschool. The fact I always can't sit still or too long , get bored easily or get distracted with my thoughts.
          
          The fact daydreaming are so common in my daily life , I can't stop myself daydreaming ( mostly I day dream about my favorite anime character getting hurt , angst or die in the most sad or painful way - yeah I have wild weird shit going on my mind back then ). I mean I still daydreams now , but most image I paint in my brian is around 42% less brutal......maybe.
          
          Is it normal to always get up every few second and feeling the urge to walk circle in the corner or around the room ? ( I don't know , I just always felt to energetic or at least feeling the urge to GET THIS FEELING OUT OF ME to the point I have to run or walk to calm myself down. )
          
          I actually just did that before typing this ^
          
          I think being forgetful is just part of my life ever since I was born. I actually don't know when did my forgetfulness start but I remembered that I become more frequently forgetful around middle school. ( My science teacher even gave me a nickname "dory" : no kidding )
          
          Is it normal to be that forgetful or distracted ? I don't know if that's just me doing it. I actually don't know wtf is wrong with me right now.
          
          Suddenly I have the urged to do something ESPECIALLY writing stories but whenever I tried to do it.
          
          ( ↓ if I did have ADHD then the things I do back then & now would make sense or I'm just a crazy person myself . )

patheticgril

@patheticgril so I kept interrupting what other people say when they are trying to explain the part that they I know and is rude and I get scolded before but I just can't stop- 
            
            They always asked me "just what are you rushing about?" And I always felt very bad afterwards but I just can't help myself :/
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bunnygirlsenpai90

like. i didn’t mention it but I do have adhd myself haha…anyway again respectfully, get it checked out first (pretend this is an awkward thumbs up bc wattpad wont let me put the dam emoji)
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bunnygirlsenpai90

hii late reply but I don’t think ur lazy or forgetful  those do look like signs of adhd though and i know some people who have adhd but i suggest getting it like professionally checked out first before making assumptions. either way having adhd (or not) is ok, just think about what u would do to improve given the fact that u do have adhd and given the fact that u dont
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patheticgril

So I got a job 2 days ago. This time I work as a waitress in a restaurant that I always eat.
          
          I get sort of anxiety in public though , surprisingly , it wasn't as bad as working in the convenience store when I was 16 but I still get nervous and panicky sometimes or tempt overthink that I would messed it up. 
          
          But hey , this time turns out I did not too bad myself. :D
          
          Even though my mom was there to accompany and help me on some part and making me not lose myself into nerves wreck , though I am proud that manged to get out of my comfort zone especially when serving the customers : thanks to my supportive mom ( I love you , mama ❤️ ).
          
          Though I still get nervous and need alot of practice on :
          
          - Greeting customers
          
          - Recommend which food that would suit the customer's taste ( though I still haven't been on that level yet )
          
          - List down their order
          
          - Carrying their orders to them
          
          - Carrying empty dishes & Washing them. 
          
          - Memorize which utensil go where after washing them. ( especially I have bad memories & it would get worse if I feel pressured and would probably end up breaking down though I hope that won't happened ). (⁠;⁠^⁠ω⁠^)
          
          - Wiping the tables
          
          - Learn to Work behind the Counter ( but I still haven't go one that step yet. ) Although I got a little traumatize back at previous job which is the convenience store that I worked in : the process of the machine sometimes would lag and a few time I key in wrongly , though most of it is because they changed the prize but haven't change the tag price of the items in the computer so when it was scanned , it would be different price from the computer.
          
          It seems easy but I still kinda....quit the next day ( ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ ).
          
          { list under the comment ↓ }

MysteriousGai

@patheticgril GOOD WORK! you tried something new :)
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Clover543isBored

@patheticgril Oh, you didn't give it a couple more days? I understand. Though, I'm proud of you <3 for getting a job and trying it at least, it must have been stressful for you and the place as you said it was not in the best condition, smoking in the work environment seriously? And dust in water? Ewwww good thing you left!
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patheticgril

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1st reason : the owner doesn't want to hire a part timer , he wants me to take the job as a boss which i found it pressuring because - 1st : as a new comer , i don't think I'm capable of being a boss , although he did promised to train me but that also meant I have to take my own money to kept the restaurant up ( which I don't think I can do it because it was so risky , not only that but we're already poor from the start :,) )
            
            2nd reason : the boss & few people loves smoking in the restaurant. Me , due to having a weak lung isuess , I sometimes have difficult breathing ( even when I'm resting in my bed , my chest sometimes would feel hot and it felt like as it there's pressured pressing on top them. All I can do is breathed through my mouth most of the time because breathing through my nose is a bit challenging for me but not too challenging either. I mean I can breath through my nose but not as easy as normal people do , I guess. )
            
            3rd reason : the place is REALLY dirty even the water they SERVED for the customers have some dust in it ( which is disgusting  ) & the food aren't really fresh either nor is cut properly for people easily chew ( Yes , they have terrible skill at doing this  ). They were mostly straight up from can bottle. ( I know because I was a customer there ) and most of the time there's only 1-3 customers would be eating there.
            
            4th reason : There's isn't a proper time to know when is closing time. Mostly they closed depends on the boss , they sometimes can last about around 12+ am because there be customers drinking beer there and they have to wait for them to leave before closing. 
            
            ( Which is terrying for me as a only young girl who worked there , I still feel a little unsafe around people nevertheless when they are drunk. Though the boss wife worked there too but she have her own car and sometimes she leaves whenever she wants to but I CAN'T )
            
            So yeah...call me a pussy but i kinda nope the fuck out of there the next day :)
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patheticgril

hey guys !
          
          i'm sure you've noticed that i haven't updates "rendezvous" for months ( or week because i did spend from 2022 oct to 2022 dec editing and rewriting some part of the chapters ) 
          
          after reading my own work , i started to have a little doubt and left me a little anxious to continue especially this book had mentioned things about serious isuess & mental health, i don't want to just brush this kind of things off so easily in the book. I normally looked forward into writing this book but now it become a source of anxiety for me and I dread writing it.
          
          i really do enjoy writing "rendezvous" and I really hope that I can continue it , i don't want you guys to keep blindly waiting for an update right now and hoping it would happen anytime soon when I'm in a writer block. 
          
          i really am happy that some people asked me for an updates about "rendezvous" but although i am glad people like my books , i just felt like i wasn't doing enough and i'm sorry letting you guys wait for so long although you guys didn't meant any harm. 
          
          and i know it was an innocent request and unintentional but it made me felt like i was not doing enough and i a accidentally left you guys hanging.
          
          i hope you all can understand and be patient while i rethink things ❤️

patheticgril

@MysteriousGai oh nothing much. I'm just taking a break from writing rendezvous and some of them are just worried that I would discontinued it 
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MysteriousGai

@patheticgril whoa what happened here?
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patheticgril

my wifi is bacckkkk :)

RioNakamuraISnumber1

@patheticgril  oh. Um. Ok then. It's fine take your time you're the author anyway so... 
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patheticgril

@RioNakamuraISnumber1 um....not really (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠) since I was in writer block and I couldn't go online to search for idea nor can I assess to Wattpad. ( Especially I was scared to waste all my data )
            
            So I decided to use all the free time to write some one shots- I apologize for that (⁠・⁠–⁠・⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ
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RioNakamuraISnumber1

@patheticgril does this mean we can expect a new chapter soon? 
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Leneimagination